Disconnections

You and I were in the same yoga class the other day. I was chewing on my mat and offered you a corner to chew on.

I noticed you couldn't take your eyes off of me, especially when I asked if I could borrow some dental floss, and you said you didn't bring any dental floss.

How many elbow pads was I wearing on each arm?


Jamia  555-1444

Disconnections

We were both on aisle 7 at the grocery store the other day and I was trying to see how many slices of rye bread I could fit into my mouth.

We made eye contact twice, then I thought you had noticed the broken pieces of potato chip that were scattered all over the floor. I picked up a handful of the chips and offered you some.

What was I not wearing, socks or shoes, or both?


Damion  555-8115

Disconnections

We were both in the lobby of the movie theater on Friday night and I kept buying popcorn and adding it to my popcorn pool on the floor.

I asked you if you wanted to "take a dip" and offered you some sun-tan lotion (butter) and one of my old bathing suits.

How long did I say my all-time record was for consecutive seconds drinking at the water fountain?

Bruce  555-0117

Disconnections

In the produce section of the grocery store the other day I was licking several vegetables and offered part of each vegetable for you to lick.

I noticed you weren't able to take your eyes off of me.

What liquid was spilling out of my shoes?


Harold  555-7600

Disconnections

I was ahead of you in the grocery store deli line the other day. I had bought several pounds of lunch meat and was adding slice after slice to my pile and then trying to skateboard over it.

I asked you to be one of the judges for my next run and I noticed you couldn't take your eyes off of me.

Which color gravy was all over my shirt?


Gavin  555-3300

Disconnections

We were both in line at the post office the other day and I was trying to see how many shipping labels I could fit into my mouth.

I noticed you couldn't take your eyes off of me.

Which of my ears was blood coming out of, right or left?


Jerry  555-7118

Disconnections

We were both at the bank Tuesday morning and I was trying to see how many deposit slips I could fit in my mouth.

We made eye contact twice.

What color pen exploded and went all over my shirt?


Jacqueline  555-2281

Disconnections

We were both in the dentist office waiting room the other day and I was licking several of the magazines.

We made eye contact three times.

Which lens was missing from my sunglasses, the right or left?


Deandre  555-3957

Disconnections

I fell off a riding lawnmower right in front of you as you were walking on the sidewalk the other day.

I noticed you couldn't take your eyes off of me.

What brand of chocolate bar was all over my hands?


Dale  555-4330

Disconnections

At the bar the other morning I asked a number of times if you could give me a ride home, offering the rest of the honey mustard dressing from my fingers if you would.

I noticed you couldn't take your eyes off of me.

Which of my nostrils was blood coming out of, my right or left?


Kirby  555-8006

Disconnections

At a stop light the other day I asked several times if I could get in your car and if you'd like to have my gum because it had lost its flavor.

I noticed you weren't able to take your eyes off of me.

Which shoe, left or right, was I missing?


"Mystary man"  555-7259

Disconnections

I offered you half of my sandwich multiple times at the mall food court the other day and I noticed you couldn't take your eyes off of me.

What flavor soft drink did I spill on your shoe?


Dale  555-4330

Disconnections

We saw each other in downtown Kaynesport last New Year's Eve, right before the artichoke dropped.

I was trying to remove a pencil from my leg and there was blood everywhere. You came up to me and said "that doesn't look right." I didn't understand the joke, but I do now.

If you want to rekindle the passion and desire we felt that night, meet me in front of Kaynesport Pharmacy at 10:30 p.m. tonight and you can join me in my annual countdown to 11:00.


Stan