I'm looking to purchase one left-footed roller skate, doesn't matter the color or size.
Willing to pay as much as $6 or the equivalent in cat litter.
Serious offers only.
Danny 555-0103
November 30, 2013
November 29, 2013
Meetings
The Rondos
Post-Thanksgiving meeting
On the agenda:
* VHS copies of Grandma Ruth dropping the turkey on the front lawn and angrily kicking it all the way to the front door are on sale now. See Grandpa Wayne at the washing machine for more details.
* Countdown to Thanksgiving, 2014 begins April 7 at midnight
* Aunt Carla is still hiding underneath the car in the driveway
Today, 3:30 p.m. on the front porch
Post-Thanksgiving meeting
On the agenda:
* VHS copies of Grandma Ruth dropping the turkey on the front lawn and angrily kicking it all the way to the front door are on sale now. See Grandpa Wayne at the washing machine for more details.
* Countdown to Thanksgiving, 2014 begins April 7 at midnight
* Aunt Carla is still hiding underneath the car in the driveway
Today, 3:30 p.m. on the front porch
November 28, 2013
For sale
Video footage of my mailman dropping off/picking up mail available for a limited time.
* VHS copies only
* Used envelopes also available
Hector
555-0022
* VHS copies only
* Used envelopes also available
Hector
555-0022
November 27, 2013
November 26, 2013
For hire
Off-season Easter Bunny for hire
* Available November through late-February
* Must provide ears. I have everything else.
Tim 555-4007
* Available November through late-February
* Must provide ears. I have everything else.
Tim 555-4007
November 25, 2013
November 24, 2013
Meetings
Stop & Stay Convenience Store
Staff meeting
On the agenda:
* Forcing the customers to jog around the building three times to receive their change was not on the training video
* The "too many cigars in my nose" joke at the cash register is no longer funny
* We do not have a give a penny take a frozen pizza tray
Tomorrow morning, 9:30 a.m.
Staff meeting
On the agenda:
* Forcing the customers to jog around the building three times to receive their change was not on the training video
* The "too many cigars in my nose" joke at the cash register is no longer funny
* We do not have a give a penny take a frozen pizza tray
Tomorrow morning, 9:30 a.m.
November 23, 2013
November 22, 2013
For sale
Little league baseball trophy
I'm trying to sell my son's baseball trophy. He won it for most-improved player (2012), but to be honest he regressed quite a bit this year.
I don't want him thinking a .253 average and 17 errors at shortstop is acceptable, so if interested, I'd also like to get a quick photograph of you holding the trophy for my son's stocking stuffer.
* Some sunflower seeds also available
$15
Hank 555-9923
I'm trying to sell my son's baseball trophy. He won it for most-improved player (2012), but to be honest he regressed quite a bit this year.
I don't want him thinking a .253 average and 17 errors at shortstop is acceptable, so if interested, I'd also like to get a quick photograph of you holding the trophy for my son's stocking stuffer.
* Some sunflower seeds also available
$15
Hank 555-9923
November 21, 2013
Events
Evan & Rory Near The Movies
Friday show
Movies to discuss:
* The Water Fountain Of The Opera
* Things We Lost In The Salad Bar
* The Greatest T-Shirt To Ever Fold
* My Big Fat Greek Driving Instructor
November 22, 7:00 p.m. on WDERTV
Friday show
Movies to discuss:
* The Water Fountain Of The Opera
* Things We Lost In The Salad Bar
* The Greatest T-Shirt To Ever Fold
* My Big Fat Greek Driving Instructor
November 22, 7:00 p.m. on WDERTV
November 20, 2013
November 19, 2013
For sale
2013 wall calendar
* 12 Months of Raisins
* Some of November & all of December still unwritten upon
$4
Dale 555-9114
* 12 Months of Raisins
* Some of November & all of December still unwritten upon
$4
Dale 555-9114
November 18, 2013
Wanted
Looking to purchase several pounds of taco shells for a bed I want to make. I'm willing to pay upwards of $8/pound.
Lamar 555-1558
Lamar 555-1558
November 17, 2013
November 16, 2013
November 15, 2013
For sale
Tissues
* Seven available
* Free unwrapped cough drop with purchase
$.50 each or $3 for all seven
Abbie 555-3441
* Seven available
* Free unwrapped cough drop with purchase
$.50 each or $3 for all seven
Abbie 555-3441
November 14, 2013
November 13, 2013
Help wanted
A fly got into my apartment recently and I need help getting it out.
[Last known photo. Taken Monday afternoon]
Patrice 555-0113
[Last known photo. Taken Monday afternoon]
Patrice 555-0113
November 12, 2013
November 11, 2013
For sale
Reality TV shows on DVD
* My Head Hurts! - final season
* Countdown To 8:30 p.m.: Seattle
* Watch Me Eat Pistachios - season 1 w/deleted scenes
$4 each
Dante 555-0788
* My Head Hurts! - final season
* Countdown To 8:30 p.m.: Seattle
* Watch Me Eat Pistachios - season 1 w/deleted scenes
$4 each
Dante 555-0788
November 10, 2013
For sale
Used car
* 210,000 miles, red
* Missing front passenger side seat, some of the roof
* About 1/2 of a sausage calzone somewhere in the back free with purchase
* Used in the filming of the 1996 documentary When Harry Rented When Harry Met Sally
$275 or best offer
Harry 555-3244
* 210,000 miles, red
* Missing front passenger side seat, some of the roof
* About 1/2 of a sausage calzone somewhere in the back free with purchase
* Used in the filming of the 1996 documentary When Harry Rented When Harry Met Sally
$275 or best offer
Harry 555-3244
November 9, 2013
November 8, 2013
Public Service Announcement
Support interracial umbrella relationships
November 12, vote "NO" on proposition 519
Other prop bills:
38: Ban the use of string instruments while showering
117: Legality of hair conditioner on bratwurst
56: Separate but equal: rain drops
November 12, vote "NO" on proposition 519
Other prop bills:
38: Ban the use of string instruments while showering
117: Legality of hair conditioner on bratwurst
56: Separate but equal: rain drops
November 7, 2013
Disconnections
We were both at the bank Tuesday morning and I was trying to see how many deposit slips I could fit in my mouth.
We made eye contact twice.
What color pen exploded and went all over my shirt?
Jacqueline 555-2281
We made eye contact twice.
What color pen exploded and went all over my shirt?
Jacqueline 555-2281
November 6, 2013
For hire
Painters for hire
* Over 30 years of experience
* Must provide brushes, some paint
Pete's Paints
555-8872
* Over 30 years of experience
* Must provide brushes, some paint
Pete's Paints
555-8872
November 5, 2013
Meetings
Clock Watcher's Society - Plumptin chapter
November meeting
On the agenda:
* Vacation schedule for Friday, November 8:
- Andrea 8:00 a.m. - 9:30 a.m.
- Bruce 1:00 p.m. - 2:00 p.m.
- D'Andre 2:35 p.m. - 3:00 p.m.
* When is it going to be 6:15?
Tomorrow at 11:00 a.m. at headquarters
November meeting
On the agenda:
* Vacation schedule for Friday, November 8:
- Andrea 8:00 a.m. - 9:30 a.m.
- Bruce 1:00 p.m. - 2:00 p.m.
- D'Andre 2:35 p.m. - 3:00 p.m.
* When is it going to be 6:15?
Tomorrow at 11:00 a.m. at headquarters
November 4, 2013
Services
Need your grass cut?
Tired of the same, old lawnmowers?
Hire us, and we'll come and eat all of your grass.
Call for rates and availability
Vince & Son 555-6645
* Now also chewing up old driveway gravel *
Tired of the same, old lawnmowers?
Hire us, and we'll come and eat all of your grass.
Call for rates and availability
Vince & Son 555-6645
* Now also chewing up old driveway gravel *
November 3, 2013
November 2, 2013
Help wanted
I'm looking for someone who can teach my pet lizard sign language.
I've had him for three years and I don't think he's ever going to be able to speak. Willing to spend up to $15/hour for your services.
Please, serious offers only.
Trent 555-0114
I've had him for three years and I don't think he's ever going to be able to speak. Willing to spend up to $15/hour for your services.
Please, serious offers only.
Trent 555-0114
November 1, 2013
Services
Professional pointer for hire
"Give me something to point at."
* Over 15 years experience
* Once pointed at a corn crop for seven minutes, 40 seconds, (national record)
* Appeared as an extra on the infomercial Pointing Out Of Windows With Wendy
Call for prices and availability
Olivia 555-4778
** Coming winter, 2013: pointing at falling snow **
"Give me something to point at."
* Over 15 years experience
* Once pointed at a corn crop for seven minutes, 40 seconds, (national record)
* Appeared as an extra on the infomercial Pointing Out Of Windows With Wendy
Call for prices and availability
Olivia 555-4778
** Coming winter, 2013: pointing at falling snow **
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