Job Board

Employment opportunities


* Analyzing ice cube futures
Kaynesport Stock Exchange 555-6112

* Shampoo taste-testers wanted
Feathers Clinic 555-8985

* Door-to-door critics

- Hairstyle
- Wrist/ankle width
- Door-opening skills

Commission-based 555-3001

* Beefy's Fast Food Hut - Store #84
Now hiring:

- Back door lookout (morning shift)
- Napkins 2
- Assistant manager, pointing

555-7012

* Derwood Playhouse

- Lasagna! - auditions May 6, 1:00 p.m. - 5:00 p.m.
- Wheelbarrow on the Roof - need costume designers, stagehands

555-6862

Job Board

Employment opportunities for November 12-18


- Piso Playhouse
* Auditions for Death of a Salesman's Camaro November 19 from 1:00 p.m.-5:00 p.m.

Piso PH - 230 Venton Blvd., East Kaynesport

- Brillo pad taste-testers wanted
Feathers Clinic 555-8985

- Delivery boy needed
* Must own wheelbarrow *
555-4029

- The Chicken Hut - Store #44
Now hiring:

* Assistant manager in charge of disappointed head shakes

http://chickenhut.com/positions

- Toothpaste-eating contest judges needed
* Semipro competitive eating 555-4661

- Goldfish funeral director
* Start immediately * 555-1199

Job Board

Employment opportunities for the week of July 6-12


* Feathers Playhouse
- Auditions for Bathroom Attendant of the Opera are scheduled for July 9 1:00 p.m.-6:00 p.m.

* Typewriter ribbon eating contest: judges needed
- Semipro competitive eating 555-4661

* Analyzing forehead perspiration futures
- Plumptin Stock Exchange 555-7191

Chad's Chickens - Store #46
Now hiring:

- Lettuce sympathizer
- VP, disappointed looks

555-2210


OTHER OPPORTUNITIES

* Donations needed:

- Photographs of men named Kevin
- One piece of notebook paper

Donation Center East - 467 Natiel Ave., Plumptin

Job Board

Kaynesport West Annex job opportunities


- Analyzing puddle water futures

Kaynesport Stock Exchange 555-6112


- Piso Playhouse
* Auditions for Mister, Can You Spare A Penguin? June 4, 1:00 p.m. - 5:00 p.m.
* Looking for volunteers to help us talk an old man out of an air vent

Piso Playhouse: 230 Venton Blvd., E. Kaynesport


- Need teachers for the following adult education courses

* Am I Enrolled In This Class? MON/WED 7:00 p.m.
* Pointing At Falling Raindrops WED 8:00 p.m. (weather permitting)
* Sitting Down/Standing Up Again SAT 4:00 p.m.


Murray College 555-2110

Job Board

Employment Opportunities

* Wiener Dan's Fast Food - Store #47
Now hiring:

- Assistant manager in charge of nodding
- Moldy hamburger/hot dog bun auctioneer

555-5693

* Analyzing toilet bowl water futures
Plumptin Stock Exchange 555-7191

* Derwood Playhouse

- Flat Tire of a Salesman: auditions April 23, 1:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m.


OTHER

* Donations needed

- Used napkins
- Leaves/leaf pieces
- Winks

Donation Center - 880 Delwood Ave., Kaynesport

* Meetings

Friends of Greg Wendell

- Field trip to Greg's high school gym locker has been moved to May 16