February 28, 2014
February 27, 2014
For sale
Reality TV shows on DVD
* Are You Sweatier Than Paul?
* Let's Staple Hamburger Buns To That Old Man - season 4
* Countdown to 10:30: Iowa City
* Where Are My Shoes?! - final season
$4 each
Tina 555-9117
* Are You Sweatier Than Paul?
* Let's Staple Hamburger Buns To That Old Man - season 4
* Countdown to 10:30: Iowa City
* Where Are My Shoes?! - final season
$4 each
Tina 555-9117
February 26, 2014
Events
The Derweezo Circus traveling freak show is coming to a town near you!
Check out our freaks:
* The man not wearing shoes
* The mailbox that can't speak
* The girl with pierced ears
* The gray-haired man
* The tarantula with no elbows
* The woman who every Sunday attends church with her microwave
* The salmon who refuses to wear a top hat
* The unused paper plate
Derweezo Circus
555-3449 for tickets
Check out our freaks:
* The man not wearing shoes
* The mailbox that can't speak
* The girl with pierced ears
* The gray-haired man
* The tarantula with no elbows
* The woman who every Sunday attends church with her microwave
* The salmon who refuses to wear a top hat
* The unused paper plate
Derweezo Circus
555-3449 for tickets
February 25, 2014
February 24, 2014
February 23, 2014
Meetings
Mayo King Fast Food - Store #42
Staff meeting
On the agenda:
* A customer's shoe is not an acceptable place for to-go food
* There's no such thing as a wearing a jacket tax
Monday, 10:00 a.m.
Staff meeting
On the agenda:
* A customer's shoe is not an acceptable place for to-go food
* There's no such thing as a wearing a jacket tax
Monday, 10:00 a.m.
February 22, 2014
Services
Handy-man for hire
I can perform a variety of odd jobs, including:
* Shouting insults at dripping tap water
* "Let's run over to that man and chew on his ankles"
* Pointing at clocks and revealing 1. the time of day 2 the time of day in a few seconds
* Making envelopes out of pieces of pizza/later: mailing things
Call for rates and availability
Shakeem 555-8118
I can perform a variety of odd jobs, including:
* Shouting insults at dripping tap water
* "Let's run over to that man and chew on his ankles"
* Pointing at clocks and revealing 1. the time of day 2 the time of day in a few seconds
* Making envelopes out of pieces of pizza/later: mailing things
Call for rates and availability
Shakeem 555-8118
February 21, 2014
February 20, 2014
Missing
I'm missing the heel of my left shoe.
Here's a photograph of it, taken Monday:
If anyone has any information, please contact me. Reward magazine subscription cards offered.
Dwayne 555-6115
Here's a photograph of it, taken Monday:
If anyone has any information, please contact me. Reward magazine subscription cards offered.
Dwayne 555-6115
February 19, 2014
Meetings
The Kerwin Daniels House
Upcoming meeting schedule
February 23 - F.M.H. (Finding Mud a Home). 6:30 p.m. in room 5
March 5 - What The Book? book club, spring meeting. Featuring discussion on several books, including A Tale of Two Shin Bruises and The Idiot's Guide To Paper Clips
March 12 - Women Named Beth, spring '14 kick off meeting. 8:00 p.m. in room 14b
March 24 - Record release party for the 20th anniversary edition of Stairway to Parking Garage by Rory Vincent Band
March 30 - March 31st Eve countdown, begins at 11:30 p.m. in the main auditorium
Kerwin Daniels House - 640 Derwood Lane, Kaynesport
Upcoming meeting schedule
February 23 - F.M.H. (Finding Mud a Home). 6:30 p.m. in room 5
March 5 - What The Book? book club, spring meeting. Featuring discussion on several books, including A Tale of Two Shin Bruises and The Idiot's Guide To Paper Clips
March 12 - Women Named Beth, spring '14 kick off meeting. 8:00 p.m. in room 14b
March 24 - Record release party for the 20th anniversary edition of Stairway to Parking Garage by Rory Vincent Band
March 30 - March 31st Eve countdown, begins at 11:30 p.m. in the main auditorium
Kerwin Daniels House - 640 Derwood Lane, Kaynesport
February 18, 2014
February 17, 2014
Wanted
I'm in the market for one pant leg, left or right, from a pair of brown men's pants.
Will pay upwards of $8, or, if interested, the equivalent in parking stubs.
Lucas 555-2281
Will pay upwards of $8, or, if interested, the equivalent in parking stubs.
Lucas 555-2281
February 16, 2014
February 15, 2014
Featured works
This month's Bobby Classifieds Featured Works is graffiti artist Lemp.
Lemp exhibition now through March 5 at Plumptin Gallery - 99 Zeoli Blvd.
Lemp exhibition now through March 5 at Plumptin Gallery - 99 Zeoli Blvd.
February 14, 2014
For sale
Reality TV shows on DVD
* My Elbow Hurts! - full series (three-disc set)
* Who Wants To Glue Leaves To A Millionaire? - season 2
* Paper Football Championship: Knoxville
$7 each or all four for $25
Kavon 555-0019
* My Elbow Hurts! - full series (three-disc set)
* Who Wants To Glue Leaves To A Millionaire? - season 2
* Paper Football Championship: Knoxville
$7 each or all four for $25
Kavon 555-0019
February 13, 2014
Help wanted
I need someone to help me finish painting my sign.
I eventually want to have the word CRAWFISH with an arrow pointing to the right, but so far I just have C, R and A and I've run out of paint.
* Payment available in cash or in empty spray cans
* Call for directions to the wall, among other things
Derrick 555-3997
I eventually want to have the word CRAWFISH with an arrow pointing to the right, but so far I just have C, R and A and I've run out of paint.
* Payment available in cash or in empty spray cans
* Call for directions to the wall, among other things
Derrick 555-3997
February 12, 2014
February 11, 2014
Services
Need someone to check the temperature of your food?
* February specials *
- Soup: $5/bowl; up to four temperature checks
- Children's food (three years old or younger): $7/taste
Joe Maglio 555-9995
* February specials *
- Soup: $5/bowl; up to four temperature checks
- Children's food (three years old or younger): $7/taste
Joe Maglio 555-9995
February 10, 2014
Announcements
Kaynesport Pythons Baseball
Additions to the 2014 promotional calendar
April 4 - Pen cap (first 5,000 fans)
April 5 - Envelope of pine cone pieces
April 17 - Throw radishes at the bat boy
May 19 - Plane Tray Table Night
May 22 - Pythons mini helmet of dishwashing detergent
June 14 - Napkin Night
Call 555-3818 for tickets
Additions to the 2014 promotional calendar
April 4 - Pen cap (first 5,000 fans)
April 5 - Envelope of pine cone pieces
April 17 - Throw radishes at the bat boy
May 19 - Plane Tray Table Night
May 22 - Pythons mini helmet of dishwashing detergent
June 14 - Napkin Night
Call 555-3818 for tickets
February 9, 2014
February 8, 2014
Services
Do you feel you've made a mistake naming your child?
Are you looking to start over?
Barbara 555-8887
* Spring, 2014 special: names beginning with the letter R just $10 *
Are you looking to start over?
Barbara 555-8887
* Spring, 2014 special: names beginning with the letter R just $10 *
February 7, 2014
For hire
Sweeper
* Finalist on the 2008 reality TV show Wiping Up Spills With The Stars
* Will have my own mop, starting February 11th
Steve 555-4499
* Finalist on the 2008 reality TV show Wiping Up Spills With The Stars
* Will have my own mop, starting February 11th
Steve 555-4499
February 6, 2014
For sale
Movies on VHS
* Using The Bathroom At Tiffany's
* Thursday, Part 3
* Things We Lost In The Baked Ziti
* Dental Floss: Impossible
$3 each
Gavin 555-7991
* Using The Bathroom At Tiffany's
* Thursday, Part 3
* Things We Lost In The Baked Ziti
* Dental Floss: Impossible
$3 each
Gavin 555-7991
February 5, 2014
Item found
Lint ball
We found this little guy near our drier a few weeks ago and haven't had any luck finding him a new home.
We still believe the right owner is out there somewhere.
* Weighs about two ounces
* Doesn't respond to Charlie
Ernie & Bernice 555-2291
We found this little guy near our drier a few weeks ago and haven't had any luck finding him a new home.
We still believe the right owner is out there somewhere.
* Weighs about two ounces
* Doesn't respond to Charlie
Ernie & Bernice 555-2291
February 4, 2014
Help wanted
Need to hire an assistant/intern to count how many napkins I use over the next 12 months. It's for a book I'm writing, so I'm also going to need an applicant who can edit and/or write a book.
* Will pay in Chinese food takeout menus
* Ladies only
Trent 555-1109
* Will pay in Chinese food takeout menus
* Ladies only
Trent 555-1109
February 3, 2014
Wanted
I'm looking to purchase one right-footed roller skate, doesn't matter the color or size.
Will offer as much as $5 or the equivalent in cat food.
Serious offers only.
Danny 555-0103
Will offer as much as $5 or the equivalent in cat food.
Serious offers only.
Danny 555-0103
February 2, 2014
Disconnections
We were both in the lobby of the movie theater on Friday night and I kept buying popcorn and adding it to my popcorn pool on the floor.
I asked you if you wanted to "take a dip" and offered you some sun-tan lotion (butter) and one of my old bathing suits.
How long did I say my all-time record was for consecutive seconds drinking at the water fountain?
Bruce 555-0117
February 1, 2014
For sale
Magazines
* Air French Horn (March, 2007)
* Pointing At Cabbage (January, 1999)
* What Time Is It? (August, 2005 - 2:20 and 10:15 double issue)
* Ice Cube Historian's Monthly (December, 2009)
$4 each
Vanessa 555-6617
* Air French Horn (March, 2007)
* Pointing At Cabbage (January, 1999)
* What Time Is It? (August, 2005 - 2:20 and 10:15 double issue)
* Ice Cube Historian's Monthly (December, 2009)
$4 each
Vanessa 555-6617
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