February 22, 2014

Services

Handy-man for hire

I can perform a variety of odd jobs, including:

* Shouting insults at dripping tap water
* Pencil-eating contest public address announcer
* "Let's run over to that man and chew on his ankles"
* Pointing at clocks/revealing the time of day
* 25 other uses for napkins
* Making envelopes out of pieces of pizza/mailing things


Call for rates and availability
Thomas  555-8112

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