Mustache hair
This is some experienced facial hair. It's been a handlebar mustache and part of several failed goatees.
* Dyed blonde-July, 2001
$6
Larry 555-7129
August 29, 2008
August 28, 2008
Meetings
Lobe's 16th Street Movie House
Team meeting
Agenda (subject to change):
- Just because it's yellow doesn't make it butter
- Remembering assistant manager Petey Leonard's pet gerbil, Boscoe
- Who ate all of the Sour Patch Kids?
September 1, 6:00 p.m.
Team meeting
Agenda (subject to change):
- Just because it's yellow doesn't make it butter
- Remembering assistant manager Petey Leonard's pet gerbil, Boscoe
- Who ate all of the Sour Patch Kids?
September 1, 6:00 p.m.
August 27, 2008
Personality Profile #4
Gavin Henderson
Age: 36
Interests: the 4-3 defense
In my bedroom you'll find: celery
Claim to fame: chased and eventually caught a pigeon through 25 city blocks to win the gold medal in the August, 1997 Pigeon Chase.
Secret shame: angry pigeon made a mess on his hand, August, 1997
Favorite TV show: Co-Worker Swap
Prized possession: Teen Wolf Too soundtrack, autographed by Stuart Fratkin
Favorite number: 58
If I could be anything else, I'd be: a plaid rain coat
Gavin box #457
Age: 36
Interests: the 4-3 defense
In my bedroom you'll find: celery
Claim to fame: chased and eventually caught a pigeon through 25 city blocks to win the gold medal in the August, 1997 Pigeon Chase.
Secret shame: angry pigeon made a mess on his hand, August, 1997
Favorite TV show: Co-Worker Swap
Prized possession: Teen Wolf Too soundtrack, autographed by Stuart Fratkin
Favorite number: 58
If I could be anything else, I'd be: a plaid rain coat
Gavin box #457
August 26, 2008
Meeting
Barton semi-pro basketball
Pre-season team meeting
Agenda:
* Why we can only use a ladder in practice
* The kidnapping of assistant coach Marty Mitchell's clipboard
* How are we getting to our first game?
Winkle Gymnasium - September 3, 5:00 p.m.
Pre-season team meeting
Agenda:
* Why we can only use a ladder in practice
* The kidnapping of assistant coach Marty Mitchell's clipboard
* How are we getting to our first game?
Winkle Gymnasium - September 3, 5:00 p.m.
Obituaries
Dennis Lambert
1852-2008
Beloved tax attorney and advocate of same-sex antiquing, Dennis died doing what he loved: sitting on his recliner, counting the hair on his head. He was most proud of his lawnmower collection, which by last count had reached triple digits. Survived by his son, Dennis Jr. (124) and daugther, Martha (117).
Darlene Macafferty
1867-2008
Darlene is best-known for her starring roles in the ground-breaking television documentary, Growing up Headless. In 1957, she successfully lobbied to have the sidewalks in her hometown of Sandlebury removed. Survived by her pet rabbit, Cecil.
1852-2008
Beloved tax attorney and advocate of same-sex antiquing, Dennis died doing what he loved: sitting on his recliner, counting the hair on his head. He was most proud of his lawnmower collection, which by last count had reached triple digits. Survived by his son, Dennis Jr. (124) and daugther, Martha (117).
Darlene Macafferty
1867-2008
Darlene is best-known for her starring roles in the ground-breaking television documentary, Growing up Headless. In 1957, she successfully lobbied to have the sidewalks in her hometown of Sandlebury removed. Survived by her pet rabbit, Cecil.
August 25, 2008
Meetings
Stalking Vanessa Leonard Society
September, 2008 meeting
Items to discuss:
* What to do now that the oak tree in Jim Hilson's yard was destroyed in the hurricane
* Did society founder Dirk James really kiss Vanessa in 2003, and if so, where?
* Vanessa's new haircut
September 5, 7:00 p.m. at Gary Minter's condo
September, 2008 meeting
Items to discuss:
* What to do now that the oak tree in Jim Hilson's yard was destroyed in the hurricane
* Did society founder Dirk James really kiss Vanessa in 2003, and if so, where?
* Vanessa's new haircut
September 5, 7:00 p.m. at Gary Minter's condo
For sale
FOR SALE
Buy my parents
Jim (34) and Tammy (29) Winters
My dad is always screaming when the Chicago Bears are on TV and my mom has brown hair.
$120 each or $200 for both
Jim Jr. 555-7028
Refrigerator
SWR, 6-foot-2
- Several old mustard containers available
- Lots of magnet space
$40
Frank 555-4466
Buy my parents
Jim (34) and Tammy (29) Winters
My dad is always screaming when the Chicago Bears are on TV and my mom has brown hair.
$120 each or $200 for both
Jim Jr. 555-7028
Refrigerator
SWR, 6-foot-2
- Several old mustard containers available
- Lots of magnet space
$40
Frank 555-4466
August 24, 2008
For sale
Tennis instructional videos
* Learn from neighborhood-famous tennis pro Ernie Pagglio, "The Surgeon"
* Buy 1/2 VCR, get second half free
Set of 5 videos - $250
Holy Racket Productions 555-1645
* Learn from neighborhood-famous tennis pro Ernie Pagglio, "The Surgeon"
* Buy 1/2 VCR, get second half free
Set of 5 videos - $250
Holy Racket Productions 555-1645
August 23, 2008
For sale
VHS
Edgar & Sandeep go to 7-Eleven
Kissing Mildred Bannister Again
Save the last hot dog
$3 each or all three for $7
Ellen 555-7677
Edgar & Sandeep go to 7-Eleven
Kissing Mildred Bannister Again
Save the last hot dog
$3 each or all three for $7
Ellen 555-7677
August 22, 2008
Services Provided
I'll hand-wash your vegetables
I've got my own sink and tap water. I'll come to your doorstep and pick up your veggies, give them a good scrubbing and deliver them within the hour or your money back!
- carrots
- celery
- cucumbers
- asparagus
- green, red or yellow peppers
and many more!
** No yellow squash **
$2 per vegetable + travel expenses
Jeremy 555-5219
I've got my own sink and tap water. I'll come to your doorstep and pick up your veggies, give them a good scrubbing and deliver them within the hour or your money back!
- carrots
- celery
- cucumbers
- asparagus
- green, red or yellow peppers
and many more!
** No yellow squash **
$2 per vegetable + travel expenses
Jeremy 555-5219
August 21, 2008
For Sale
Manterns
* Soy-blend
* Easy to light
* Many scents, including "Bacon", "The Ballpark", and "Underarm Sweat".
"Hey, I made the damn things. The least you could do is buy one."
-- Tory Jolsen, founder
Very funny gifts
Man candles
* Soy-blend
* Easy to light
* Many scents, including "Bacon", "The Ballpark", and "Underarm Sweat".
"Hey, I made the damn things. The least you could do is buy one."
-- Tory Jolsen, founder
Very funny gifts
Man candles
August 20, 2008
Personality Profile #3
Eddie Jamison
Age: 30
Interests: getting jiggy with certain things; proper mustache comb disposal
In my bedroom you'll find: a Dave Coulier bobblehead doll, missing one leg
Claim to fame: lived in my fireplace for three weeks in December, 2001
Secret shame: finished last in 14 consecutive games of Simon Says at Hemphill Elementary School (1st grade-February, 1985)
Favorite TV show: So, you wanna work at Shoneys
Prized possession: New Kids on the Block lunchbox, autographed by Donnie Wahlberg impersonator Ian Predmore
Favorite number: 117
If I could be anything else, I'd be: a bow tie
Eddie box #163
Age: 30
Interests: getting jiggy with certain things; proper mustache comb disposal
In my bedroom you'll find: a Dave Coulier bobblehead doll, missing one leg
Claim to fame: lived in my fireplace for three weeks in December, 2001
Secret shame: finished last in 14 consecutive games of Simon Says at Hemphill Elementary School (1st grade-February, 1985)
Favorite TV show: So, you wanna work at Shoneys
Prized possession: New Kids on the Block lunchbox, autographed by Donnie Wahlberg impersonator Ian Predmore
Favorite number: 117
If I could be anything else, I'd be: a bow tie
Eddie box #163
Meetings
A Novel Concept book club
Late-August meeting
Books to discuss:
Who mooned my cheese? - Beth Darlington
The encyclopedia of delayed airline flights - Chocolate House Publishing
August 30, 5:00 p.m. at Noel's apartment
Late-August meeting
Books to discuss:
Who mooned my cheese? - Beth Darlington
The encyclopedia of delayed airline flights - Chocolate House Publishing
August 30, 5:00 p.m. at Noel's apartment
August 19, 2008
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