For sale

Teen Wolf Too

* VHS
* Very rare

$50
Rental price: $.99
Derwood 555-2322

Meetings

A Novel Concept book club
October meeting

Books to discuss:

The Encyclopedia of Grass Stains - Chocolate House Publishing
The Art of Drooling - Juan Mendoza


Celery sticks/ranch dressing: Ben

October 2, 7:30 p.m.

For sale

Football memorabilia for sale

Store-wide sale!!


Don Tankowski, Kansas City Aeros autographed jersey - $45
Patch of grass from 1981 Blue Bonnet Bowl - $30
Boob Sanderson bobblehead doll - $5
Chin strap worn by Johnny Unitas, autographed by my neighbor's son, Henry - $700

Bags of sweat:

* 1977 Super Bowl commemorative duffle bag (2 1/2 lbs.) - $150
* Canadian Football League draft day door prize bag (1 lb.) - $70


Tom's Collectibles 555-0228

Meetings

Jasper High School marching band
Full-band meeting


On the agenda:

* Where not to empty your spit valve
* The whereabouts of 2nd chair trumpet, Carl Danielson


Vegetable platters: french horns


September 28, 8:00 p.m.

For sale

Children

Brandon and Jessica, age 5

* Brandon is a poo-thrower


$75 each or 2 for $120
Kevin & Linda 555-7207

WANTED

Fernando
Age: 7
Last seen: Mangrove Forest, 9/2/08
Wanted for: Chewing on/spitting out several lizards


Info:  555-9001

Services

Oil change


* Must provide oil, car & place to do the oil change


$10
Derek  555-7642

Thoughts for sale

I've got hundreds of thoughts going through my head and I'm tired of having to deal with all of them. For the month of September all of my thoughts are 75% off.

Some of my most popular:

- Where did I leave my favorite blue jacket with the picture of the motorcycle on the sleeve?
- My ex-girlfriend Mary: did she get the grocery bag full of rose petals I sent her?
- What is that on my leg?
- Slam dunking over Shaquille O'Neal. We become immediate friends and rent a condo together.
- I'm afraid of snakes so why do I now own three of them?
- Grapes


Make me an offer
Danny 555-8108

For sale

USED CARS


1998 Toyota Corolla

Blue with dried mustard racing stripes

- 85,000 miles

- Once belonged to Kirk Cameron impersonator, Harvey Klein

$500
Jimmy 555-7702


2001 Ford Explorer

Make me an offer
Jillian 555-4200

"The car of 2001, today."

- Jillian


1997 Mazda Miata

Fits 1/2 person comfortably

$400
Bernie 555-6116

Services

The Expressions Store
Selling quality expressions and greetings since 2002


Waves
'Hello': $3
'Goodbye' (comes with a frown): $2
'Come on over here': $5
'Get out of here': $4

Sayings
'Good luck': $6
'Have a good day': $8
'See you later': $5
'Congratulations': $10

Other items
Thumbs up: $7 per thumb
Handshake: $2
Back slap: $4
High fives: 3 for $10
Hugs: $1


The Expressions Store - Highway 73, Nedding City
555-3993

TV listings

WHOO's new fall reality TV lineup is here!


Maintenance Man Swap

Make me a Turkey Sandwich!

FIX MY DOG! Chihuahua Boot Camp-Season 4

[All shows premier October 1]

Home for sale

Beautiful three-bedroom house with no recent fire ant problems.

Pool in backyard needs water; a lot of love.

Previous owners:

- Mario Lopez impersonator Lars Rio
- Former Ft. Lauderdale Aces quarterback Guy Nielson
- The Beegleberry twins
- Mario Lopez

**Tremendous view of next-door neighbor's house**


$85,000

Jerry and Cynthia 555-9931

Meetings

Hatterfield Gremlins semi-pro fall baseball
Pre-season meeting

Items to discuss:

- Why you have to wear a jock strap and pants
- The whereabouts of third-base coach Jimmy Tannen
- Part 4 of our strategy sessions: non-verbal signs


Gremlins Stadium, September 21 at 7:30 p.m.

For sale

VHS


Growing up Headless
Strangers on a Kayak


$10 each
Ben 555-7992