January 21, 2010

Staff news

January 21

Hired - Candace Ross, advertising
Ross joins the staff after spending the last seven years as an advertising executive at Blind Salami Inc. The 37-year old was the creator of the I Drank the Whole Thing dishwashing detergent ads of the late-1990s, starring little Ronnie Mitchell, and the Ebeneezer's Tweezers Death of Unibrow Man ads during the 2004 Salad Olympics.

Fired - Julius Brewster
Brewster was let go after Classifieds' security confiscated from him two penguins and several sheets of college ruled notebook paper. Hired in October, 2008 as an intern, Brewster was promoted to staff writer in May, 2009 after his essay "Idealist on Raccoon Rights" won the Predmore Prize.

Deceased - Pepe
Staff goldfish died of accidental drowning.

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