June 30, 2010


Alden Scofield

Alden, the former mayor of the flower bed in his backyard, died of an apparent envelope overdose late Tuesday. Our beloved mosquito whisperer was one of the founding members of the political activist group S.M.M. (Separation of Mouse and Milkshake), and had a starring role in the 1963 play Expired License Plate of a Salesman. Funeral services set for Friday at 3:00 p.m., then it's off to Dumpy's for $3 pitcher night.

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