For sale

Empty mustard packet collection

* Over 400
* Comes with some free mustard


Entire collection or individual packets available
Dottie  555-6117

Services

Need baby photos of Joe Maglio?


Linda Maglio  555-7775

For sale

1/2 burrito

* Comes with three napkins *


$9
Sarah  555-7997

For sale

Reality TV on DVD


* How many corn chips are under the seats of my car?! - Season 6
* Grandpa Swap - Season 3
* Paper Boys: Kansas City
* Napping with the Stars - Complete series (w/extended scenes)


$7 each
Gavin  555-2020

Services

Professional paper clip taste-tester for hire

* Over 25 years of experience *

For limited time, also taste-testing:

* Envelopes
* Grandpa hair
* Mailbox flags
* Toll booth operators' fingers
* Mustard water
* Knobs on kitchen appliances


Call for rates and availability
Clyde  555-6888

Meetings

Clock Watcher's Society - Piso Valley chapter
Spring meeting


Items to discuss:

* What we liked/didn't like about 8:45 p.m. last Tuesday
* The pilot for our first original educational program The Minute Hand did not get picked up
* Vacation schedule, June 4: Marty 9:35 a.m.-11:10 a.m., Phyllis 11:25 a.m.-1:00 p.m.
* When is it going to be 11:05 a.m. again?


May 1 at headquarters

Opportunities

Kaynesport Community College
New summer classes offered soon!


* History of the Hat

- Pre-requisite: History of Hair

* Survey: Guys Named Drew

- Pre-requisite: Ladies Named Drew

* Corridors 101

- Pre-requisite: Honors High School Hallway

* Intro to Leaves

* How to Peel a Grapefruit

- Pre-requisite: Where Can I Buy a Grapefruit?

Registration begins May 30

Meetings

Lavelle Rondo High School yearbook staff
April meeting

On the agenda:

* No matter how many photos they send, there's no such thing as the Beer Funneling Club
* "Worst Breath" is not a senior superlative


April 28, 3:45 p.m. in the media center

Services

Need pages turned?

Books

- $.50 per page (softcover)
- $.75 per page (hardcover)
- Magazines: $.35 per page

Carpet sample books

- $1 per turn (must provide ride to store)

Road atlas

- $7/half hour (includes 30-second back massage)


** Also, in lieu of payment, customers may also provide the equivalent in lettuce. Ask about our conversion rates. **


Joseph Maglio Jr.  555-9996

Public Service Announcement

Each year, millions of slices of bread are separated from loved ones.

Help us reunite breads with their loaves.


Hotline: 555-4889

For sale

Reality TV on DVD

* Take My Nephew To The Orthodontist! - reunion show special
* Bike Helmet Swap - season 5
* The Real Fire Ant Hills Of Plumptin City Park - season 4
* At The Water Fountain With The Stars - final season w/deleted scenes


$5 each
Quentin  555-0032

Missing

Strawberry

* Partially-eaten, missing since Thursday
* Doesn't respond to Lenny


Valarie & Tevin  555-4007

For sale

Spaghetti noodles

* 33 are cooked, 11 are uncooked


$.75 each or entire lot for $30
Marge  555-4449

For rent

Home for rent



1/16 BR
3 BATH
0 DOORS

* Used in the filming of the reality TV spinoff series Are You STILL Smellier Than A 3rd Grader?
* Close proximity to sand road 5


$118/month
Sandy & Diane 555-8781