Grocery bill
* $26.40 due
* One high five from bag boy free with purchase (pending bag boy approval)
* I'm at register 6 at Pleasepay Grocery store #277 in a yellow Dominic's Dancing Raviolis t-shirt. The cashier's name is Ben.
$27
Jill 555-8363
August 31, 2013
August 30, 2013
For sale
Used hardcover books
* Encyclopedia of Delayed Airline Flights, Volume 7
* Idiot's Guide To Scissors
* Book of Goldfish Names: I-P
* Championship Prison Miniature Golf Teams
$8 each
Gloria 555-2246
* Encyclopedia of Delayed Airline Flights, Volume 7
* Idiot's Guide To Scissors
* Book of Goldfish Names: I-P
* Championship Prison Miniature Golf Teams
$8 each
Gloria 555-2246
August 29, 2013
August 28, 2013
Meetings
Calendar Watchers
Late-summer meeting
On the agenda:
* Days We Can Do Without with Dr. Elroy Riles, Part 9: February 16
* When is it going to be December?
* Why Darryl and his boat made of old calendars each went missing
August 29, 8:00 p.m. at Beverly's condo
Late-summer meeting
On the agenda:
* Days We Can Do Without with Dr. Elroy Riles, Part 9: February 16
* When is it going to be December?
* Why Darryl and his boat made of old calendars each went missing
August 29, 8:00 p.m. at Beverly's condo
August 27, 2013
For sale
Erwin
* 44-years old
* Ear hair since 1997
* Appeared in the hit reality TV show Will Someone Go On A Date With My Uncle?
$450
Jack & Lorraine 555-3200
* 44-years old
* Ear hair since 1997
* Appeared in the hit reality TV show Will Someone Go On A Date With My Uncle?
$450
Jack & Lorraine 555-3200
August 26, 2013
Services
Handy-man for hire
"Let me handle all your odd jobs"
* Introducing shirt buttons to other shirt buttons
* "Let's rush over to that guy and chew on his fingers"
* Looking into mirrors
* Making envelopes out of loaves of bread and mailing things
Call for rates and availability
Xavier 555-8118
"Let me handle all your odd jobs"
* Introducing shirt buttons to other shirt buttons
* "Let's rush over to that guy and chew on his fingers"
* Looking into mirrors
* Making envelopes out of loaves of bread and mailing things
and more!
Call for rates and availability
Xavier 555-8118
August 25, 2013
For rent
I've got a phone line available for rent.
Unlimited local calls, but you have to use my phone. It's green and in my bedroom. Any ladies calling in the next 15 minutes will receive two free hugs - one from me and one from my friend, Tony.
You'll also have access to my personal address book, which includes phone numbers for:
* The video store down the street
* Tony's cell number
* The gas station around the corner that sells breakfast burritos sometimes
* Tony's mother's house phone
$8/hour or ask about our pay-by-call plan
Harold 555-2007
Unlimited local calls, but you have to use my phone. It's green and in my bedroom. Any ladies calling in the next 15 minutes will receive two free hugs - one from me and one from my friend, Tony.
You'll also have access to my personal address book, which includes phone numbers for:
* The video store down the street
* Tony's cell number
* The gas station around the corner that sells breakfast burritos sometimes
* Tony's mother's house phone
$8/hour or ask about our pay-by-call plan
Harold 555-2007
August 24, 2013
Wanted
I'm looking to purchase the handle end of six forks.
I've got plenty of prongs, just need the handles for a dinner party I'm hosting.
Willing to spend as much as $1.20 each.
Tamara 555-6680
I've got plenty of prongs, just need the handles for a dinner party I'm hosting.
Willing to spend as much as $1.20 each.
Tamara 555-6680
August 23, 2013
For rent
1 green crayon
* Used in the creation of the spring, 2013 refrigerator note Back at 6, Love Linda
$4/half hour
Garrett & Linda 555-4309
* Used in the creation of the spring, 2013 refrigerator note Back at 6, Love Linda
$4/half hour
Garrett & Linda 555-4309
August 22, 2013
August 21, 2013
August 20, 2013
Item found
Potato
I found this little one in our neighborhood's culdesac Monday. Looks like it could be far away from home and missing the other potatoes.
Didn't answer to Brian, Tina or Brian a second time
.
If he's yours, give us a call.
Maurice & Hector 555-4997
I found this little one in our neighborhood's culdesac Monday. Looks like it could be far away from home and missing the other potatoes.
Didn't answer to Brian, Tina or Brian a second time
.
If he's yours, give us a call.
Maurice & Hector 555-4997
August 19, 2013
For sale
Reality TV on DVD
* Does Your Little Sister Have To Be Here? - final season
* Let's Glue Things To That Old Lady - season 4 w/commentary
* Infant Swap - season 6
* At The Postal Service Drop-Off Box With The Stars - season 3
* How Many French Fries Are Under The Seat Of My Car?! - seasons 1 and 2
$6 each
Beth 555-2918
* Does Your Little Sister Have To Be Here? - final season
* Let's Glue Things To That Old Lady - season 4 w/commentary
* Infant Swap - season 6
* At The Postal Service Drop-Off Box With The Stars - season 3
* How Many French Fries Are Under The Seat Of My Car?! - seasons 1 and 2
$6 each
Beth 555-2918
August 18, 2013
Meetings
Car pool to work
Pre-August 22 meeting
August 21, 7:00 p.m. in the back seat of Hillary's van
Inspirational posters: Hank (passenger seat head rest), Danielle (rear view mirror)
Tap water/paper cups: Shebrita
Practice cigarettes: Pete
Pre-August 22 meeting
August 21, 7:00 p.m. in the back seat of Hillary's van
Inspirational posters: Hank (passenger seat head rest), Danielle (rear view mirror)
Tap water/paper cups: Shebrita
Practice cigarettes: Pete
August 17, 2013
August 16, 2013
Events
Upcoming eating contests at Plumptin County Fairgrounds
August 27 - Pen cap
September 2 - Photographs of baked potatoes
September 17 - Table leg
October 9 - The grass in front of stage 6
November 1 - Phonebook
Call 555-6673 for tickets
August 27 - Pen cap
September 2 - Photographs of baked potatoes
September 17 - Table leg
October 9 - The grass in front of stage 6
November 1 - Phonebook
Call 555-6673 for tickets
August 15, 2013
Public Service Announcement
Air conditioning units shouldn't be caged.
Call 555-3381 to find out how you can help.
August 14, 2013
Announcements
Kaynesport Royals
Additions to the 2013 promotional calendar
August 20 - Refrigerator handle (1st 5,000 fans)
August 22 - Toast Night
August 26 - Throw sandals at the right fielder
September 5 - Band Aid Day
September 19 - Bring your dolphin to the park
September 20 - Envelope of leaves (1st 2,500 fans 14-under)
Call 555-3818 for tickets
Additions to the 2013 promotional calendar
August 20 - Refrigerator handle (1st 5,000 fans)
August 22 - Toast Night
August 26 - Throw sandals at the right fielder
September 5 - Band Aid Day
September 19 - Bring your dolphin to the park
September 20 - Envelope of leaves (1st 2,500 fans 14-under)
Call 555-3818 for tickets
August 13, 2013
August 12, 2013
Meetings
The People Under Andrea Fleming's Stairs
August meeting
On the agenda:
* Our field trip to the bus stop across the street from Andrea's house has been moved to September 16
* Andrea doesn't like roasted potatoes anymore
* Copies of the new documentary film Andrea Looks In The Refrigerator, April, 2013 are now available for $10; please see Pauline under stair 7
August 16, 5:30 p.m.
August meeting
On the agenda:
* Our field trip to the bus stop across the street from Andrea's house has been moved to September 16
* Andrea doesn't like roasted potatoes anymore
* Copies of the new documentary film Andrea Looks In The Refrigerator, April, 2013 are now available for $10; please see Pauline under stair 7
August 16, 5:30 p.m.
August 11, 2013
Meetings
Berchmont car dealership
Salesperson's meeting
On the agenda:
* We sell full cars, not just the parts
* There is no such thing as a 'wearing red shoes tax'
* We can no longer accept children as trade-ins
August 13, 2:00 p.m.
Salesperson's meeting
On the agenda:
* We sell full cars, not just the parts
* There is no such thing as a 'wearing red shoes tax'
* We can no longer accept children as trade-ins
August 13, 2:00 p.m.
August 10, 2013
For sale
VHS movies
* Karate Hippo 2: Back to the Dojo
* What Mosquitos Want
* Things We Lost in the Chili
* Dead Goldfish at Tiffany's
$4
Jocelyn 555-2287
* Karate Hippo 2: Back to the Dojo
* What Mosquitos Want
* Things We Lost in the Chili
* Dead Goldfish at Tiffany's
$4
Jocelyn 555-2287
August 9, 2013
August 8, 2013
For sale
Two tickets to Kaynesport Comets minor league baseball
* August 12 game vs. Derwood County Pythons
* Free with purchase: receipt from ticket transaction
$15 or the equivalent in wheat bread
Carlton 555-9003
* August 12 game vs. Derwood County Pythons
* Free with purchase: receipt from ticket transaction
$15 or the equivalent in wheat bread
Carlton 555-9003
August 7, 2013
Wanted
I'm looking to purchase several garbage bags of sunflower seed & peanut shells for a bed I want to make.
Willing to offer upwards of $10 per bag.
Lenore 555-8551
Willing to offer upwards of $10 per bag.
Lenore 555-8551
August 6, 2013
Meetings
A Novel Concept book club
August meeting
Books to discuss:
* Idiot's Guide to the Paper Cut - Ed. Thomas Lyle
* To Glue Leaves to a Mockingbird - Ansley Whitaker
* Mustache, Interrupted - Micah Townsend
August 11, 7:30 p.m. at Stanley's condo
August meeting
Books to discuss:
* Idiot's Guide to the Paper Cut - Ed. Thomas Lyle
* To Glue Leaves to a Mockingbird - Ansley Whitaker
* Mustache, Interrupted - Micah Townsend
August 11, 7:30 p.m. at Stanley's condo
August 5, 2013
For sale
Portions of the phone book
* C-E & N-V available for Poog County
* Landscaping company refrigerator magnet free with purchase
* Appeared in the 2013 documentaries Calling Amanda Davenport For A Third Time
$.50 per page or $40 for everything
Barney 555-0334
* C-E & N-V available for Poog County
* Landscaping company refrigerator magnet free with purchase
* Appeared in the 2013 documentaries Calling Amanda Davenport For A Third Time
$.50 per page or $40 for everything
Barney 555-0334
August 4, 2013
Events
Meet Doughman!
Special exhibit now through September 15 at my house in downtown Plumptin.
* Have your picture taken with Doughman
* Other dough available for purchase
* Call for directions to my house
Kenneth 555-7188
Special exhibit now through September 15 at my house in downtown Plumptin.
* Have your picture taken with Doughman
* Other dough available for purchase
* Call for directions to my house
Kenneth 555-7188
August 3, 2013
Meetings
Kaynesport Fishing Society
Summer meeting
On the agenda:
* There's no such thing as a cigarette fish no matter how much you doctor the photo
* If you're floating in the water and trying to catch fish that are in the tackle box on the boat, you're doing it wrong
* Naming each fish and introducing them to the other fish isn't necessary
August 6, 5:00 a.m. at Carl's apartment
Summer meeting
On the agenda:
* There's no such thing as a cigarette fish no matter how much you doctor the photo
* If you're floating in the water and trying to catch fish that are in the tackle box on the boat, you're doing it wrong
* Naming each fish and introducing them to the other fish isn't necessary
August 6, 5:00 a.m. at Carl's apartment
August 2, 2013
August 1, 2013
Announcements
We're going to be counting down to August 2 beginning tonight at 7:00 p.m.
All are welcome.
* "8/2/13" hats will be on sale for $10
* The top 10 moments of August 1st video will be shown at 11:00 p.m.
* B.Y.O.G.N.R. (bring your own guy named Roger)
805 Kittles Avenue, Apt. 1070, Kaynesport
All are welcome.
* "8/2/13" hats will be on sale for $10
* The top 10 moments of August 1st video will be shown at 11:00 p.m.
* B.Y.O.G.N.R. (bring your own guy named Roger)
805 Kittles Avenue, Apt. 1070, Kaynesport
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