Mustache hair
This is some experienced facial hair. It's been a handlebar mustache and part of several failed goatees.
* Dyed blonde-July, 2001
$6
Larry 555-7129
August 29, 2008
August 28, 2008
Meetings
Lobe's 16th Street Movie House
Team meeting
Agenda (subject to change):
- Just because it's yellow doesn't make it butter
- Remembering assistant manager Petey Leonard's pet gerbil, Boscoe
- Who ate all of the Sour Patch Kids?
September 1, 6:00 p.m.
Team meeting
Agenda (subject to change):
- Just because it's yellow doesn't make it butter
- Remembering assistant manager Petey Leonard's pet gerbil, Boscoe
- Who ate all of the Sour Patch Kids?
September 1, 6:00 p.m.
August 27, 2008
Personality Profile #4
Gavin Henderson
Age: 36
Interests: cuticle maintenance; keeping it unreal; the 4-3 defense
In my bedroom you'll find: celery
Claim to fame: chased and eventually caught a pigeon through 25 city blocks to win the gold medal in the August, 1997 Pigeon Chase.
Secret shame: angry pigeon made a mess on his hand, August, 1997
Favorite TV show: Co-Worker Swap
Prized possession: Teen Wolf Too soundtrack, autographed by Stuart Fratkin
Favorite number: 58
If I could be anything else, I'd be: a plaid rain coat
Gavin box #457
Age: 36
Interests: cuticle maintenance; keeping it unreal; the 4-3 defense
In my bedroom you'll find: celery
Claim to fame: chased and eventually caught a pigeon through 25 city blocks to win the gold medal in the August, 1997 Pigeon Chase.
Secret shame: angry pigeon made a mess on his hand, August, 1997
Favorite TV show: Co-Worker Swap
Prized possession: Teen Wolf Too soundtrack, autographed by Stuart Fratkin
Favorite number: 58
If I could be anything else, I'd be: a plaid rain coat
Gavin box #457
August 26, 2008
Meeting
Barton semi-pro basketball
Pre-season team meeting
Agenda:
* Why we can only use a ladder in practice
* The kidnapping of assistant coach Marty Mitchell's clipboard
* How are we getting to our first game?
Winkle Gymnasium - September 3, 5:00 p.m.
Pre-season team meeting
Agenda:
* Why we can only use a ladder in practice
* The kidnapping of assistant coach Marty Mitchell's clipboard
* How are we getting to our first game?
Winkle Gymnasium - September 3, 5:00 p.m.
Obituaries
Dennis Lambert
1852-2008
Beloved tax attorney and advocate of same-sex antiquing, Dennis died doing what he loved: sitting on his recliner, counting the hair on his head. He was most proud of his lawnmower collection, which by last count had reached triple digits. Survived by his son, Dennis Jr. (124) and daugther, Martha (117).
Darlene Macafferty
1867-2008
Darlene is best-known for her starring roles in the ground-breaking television documentary, Growing up Headless. In 1957, she successfully lobbied to have the sidewalks in her hometown of Sandlebury removed. Survived by her pet rabbit, Cecil.
1852-2008
Beloved tax attorney and advocate of same-sex antiquing, Dennis died doing what he loved: sitting on his recliner, counting the hair on his head. He was most proud of his lawnmower collection, which by last count had reached triple digits. Survived by his son, Dennis Jr. (124) and daugther, Martha (117).
Darlene Macafferty
1867-2008
Darlene is best-known for her starring roles in the ground-breaking television documentary, Growing up Headless. In 1957, she successfully lobbied to have the sidewalks in her hometown of Sandlebury removed. Survived by her pet rabbit, Cecil.
August 25, 2008
Meetings
Stalking Vanessa Leonard Society
September, 2008 meeting
Items to discuss:
* What to do now that the oak tree in Jim Hilson's yard was destroyed in the hurricane
* Did society founder Dirk James really kiss Vanessa in 2003, and if so, where?
* Vanessa's new haircut
September 5, 7:00 p.m. at Gary Minter's condo
September, 2008 meeting
Items to discuss:
* What to do now that the oak tree in Jim Hilson's yard was destroyed in the hurricane
* Did society founder Dirk James really kiss Vanessa in 2003, and if so, where?
* Vanessa's new haircut
September 5, 7:00 p.m. at Gary Minter's condo
For sale
FOR SALE
Buy my parents
Jim (34) and Tammy (29) Winters
My dad is always screaming when the Chicago Bears are on TV and my mom has brown hair.
$120 each or $200 for both
Jim Jr. 555-7028
Refrigerator
SWR, 6-foot-2
- Several old mustard containers available
- Lots of magnet space
$40
Frank 555-4466
Buy my parents
Jim (34) and Tammy (29) Winters
My dad is always screaming when the Chicago Bears are on TV and my mom has brown hair.
$120 each or $200 for both
Jim Jr. 555-7028
Refrigerator
SWR, 6-foot-2
- Several old mustard containers available
- Lots of magnet space
$40
Frank 555-4466
August 24, 2008
For sale
Tennis instructional videos
* Learn from neighborhood-famous tennis pro Ernie Pagglio, "The Surgeon"
* But 1/2 VCR, get second half free
Set of 5 videos - $250
Holy Racket Productions 555-1645
* Learn from neighborhood-famous tennis pro Ernie Pagglio, "The Surgeon"
* But 1/2 VCR, get second half free
Set of 5 videos - $250
Holy Racket Productions 555-1645
August 23, 2008
For sale
VHS
Edgar & Sandeep go to 7-Eleven
Kissing Mildred Bannister Again
Save the last hot dog
$3 each or all three for $7
Ellen 555-7677
Edgar & Sandeep go to 7-Eleven
Kissing Mildred Bannister Again
Save the last hot dog
$3 each or all three for $7
Ellen 555-7677
August 22, 2008
Services Provided
I'll hand-wash your vegetables
I've got my own sink and tap water. I'll come to your doorstep and pick up your veggies, give them a good scrubbing and deliver them within the hour or your money back!
- carrots
- celery
- cucumbers
- asparagus
- green, red or yellow peppers
and many more!
** No yellow squash **
$2 per vegetable + travel expenses
Jeremy 555-5219
I've got my own sink and tap water. I'll come to your doorstep and pick up your veggies, give them a good scrubbing and deliver them within the hour or your money back!
- carrots
- celery
- cucumbers
- asparagus
- green, red or yellow peppers
and many more!
** No yellow squash **
$2 per vegetable + travel expenses
Jeremy 555-5219
August 21, 2008
For Sale
Manterns
* Soy-blend
* Easy to light
* Many scents, including "Bacon", "The Ballpark", and "Underarm Sweat".
"Hey, I made the damn things. The least you could do is buy one."
-- Tory Jolsen, founder
Very funny gifts
Man candles
* Soy-blend
* Easy to light
* Many scents, including "Bacon", "The Ballpark", and "Underarm Sweat".
"Hey, I made the damn things. The least you could do is buy one."
-- Tory Jolsen, founder
Very funny gifts
Man candles
August 20, 2008
Personality Profile #3
Eddie Jamison
Age: 30
Interests: getting jiggy with certain things; proper mustache comb disposal
In my bedroom you'll find: a Dave Coulier bobblehead doll, missing one leg
Claim to fame: lived in my fireplace for three weeks in December, 2001
Secret shame: finished last in 14 consecutive games of Simon Says at Hemphill Elementary School (1st grade-February, 1985)
Favorite TV show: So, you wanna work at Shoneys
Prized possession: New Kids on the Block lunchbox, autographed by Donnie Wahlberg impersonator Ian Predmore
Favorite number: 117
If I could be anything else, I'd be: a bow tie
Eddie box #163
Age: 30
Interests: getting jiggy with certain things; proper mustache comb disposal
In my bedroom you'll find: a Dave Coulier bobblehead doll, missing one leg
Claim to fame: lived in my fireplace for three weeks in December, 2001
Secret shame: finished last in 14 consecutive games of Simon Says at Hemphill Elementary School (1st grade-February, 1985)
Favorite TV show: So, you wanna work at Shoneys
Prized possession: New Kids on the Block lunchbox, autographed by Donnie Wahlberg impersonator Ian Predmore
Favorite number: 117
If I could be anything else, I'd be: a bow tie
Eddie box #163
Meetings
A Novel Concept book club
Late-August meeting
Books to discuss:
Who mooned my cheese? - Beth Darlington
The encyclopedia of delayed airline flights - Chocolate House Publishing
August 30, 5:00 p.m. at Noel's apartment
Late-August meeting
Books to discuss:
Who mooned my cheese? - Beth Darlington
The encyclopedia of delayed airline flights - Chocolate House Publishing
August 30, 5:00 p.m. at Noel's apartment
August 19, 2008
August 18, 2008
For sale
VHS
Honey, I Swallowed the Kids
World's Greatest Elbow Dislocations
Dude, who ate my Pastrami Sandwich?
Dead Mosquitos Society
$5 each
Hillary 555-7839
Honey, I Swallowed the Kids
World's Greatest Elbow Dislocations
Dude, who ate my Pastrami Sandwich?
Dead Mosquitos Society
$5 each
Hillary 555-7839
August 17, 2008
Personality Profile #2
Sandra Davenport
Age: 35
Interests: conversations about stain removal that lead to eventual stain removal
In my bedroom you'll find: more than 3,000 stolen phone books
Claim to fame: dated the entire football team at my college, setting a new Lamda Phi Delta sorority record
Secret shame: unsuccessfully lobbied to have the letter 'W' removed from all typewriters (June, 1991)
Favorite TV show: Housekeeper Swap
Prized possession: Muppets Take Manhattan movie poster, autographed by Grover
Favorite number: 67
If I could be anything else, I'd be: a wasp nest
Sandra box #410
Age: 35
Interests: conversations about stain removal that lead to eventual stain removal
In my bedroom you'll find: more than 3,000 stolen phone books
Claim to fame: dated the entire football team at my college, setting a new Lamda Phi Delta sorority record
Secret shame: unsuccessfully lobbied to have the letter 'W' removed from all typewriters (June, 1991)
Favorite TV show: Housekeeper Swap
Prized possession: Muppets Take Manhattan movie poster, autographed by Grover
Favorite number: 67
If I could be anything else, I'd be: a wasp nest
Sandra box #410
August 16, 2008
For sale
Phillip
* 44 years old
Gray hair; drives a 1994 Ford Escort stationwagon; loves the Dallas Cowboys.
He's been married three times and unfortunately the 3rd time was not the charm.
$125 or best offer
Andrea 555-4022
Take out menus
I've got a ton of these things: chinese, indian, hamburger joints; italian.
5 for $10
*Special*
4 Bamboo Luau menus for $5
Arnold 555-1001
* 44 years old
Gray hair; drives a 1994 Ford Escort stationwagon; loves the Dallas Cowboys.
He's been married three times and unfortunately the 3rd time was not the charm.
$125 or best offer
Andrea 555-4022
Take out menus
I've got a ton of these things: chinese, indian, hamburger joints; italian.
5 for $10
*Special*
4 Bamboo Luau menus for $5
Arnold 555-1001
August 15, 2008
Meetings
Mailpersons Alliance
Late-summer meeting
On the agenda:
* What happened after Charlie Mcafferty fell out of his truck
* Hallway of Honor recipients
* Wandering onto the highway: what do I do now?
Saltine crackers: Marge
August 24, 7:30 p.m.
Late-summer meeting
On the agenda:
* What happened after Charlie Mcafferty fell out of his truck
* Hallway of Honor recipients
* Wandering onto the highway: what do I do now?
Saltine crackers: Marge
August 24, 7:30 p.m.
August 14, 2008
For Sale
Magazines
Sandwich Builder (August, 2000; November, 2000)
Toll Booth (November, 1988)
Standing & Sitting (May, 2006; June, 2006)
Sneeze (January, 1991; March, 1992; September, 1994)
$2 each
Paul 555-8102
Dill yogurt marinade
Two containers for $5
"The best dill yogurt marinade my wife, Cindy, has ever made."
-- Dan Valentine
Cindy 555-6429
Sandwich Builder (August, 2000; November, 2000)
Toll Booth (November, 1988)
Standing & Sitting (May, 2006; June, 2006)
Sneeze (January, 1991; March, 1992; September, 1994)
$2 each
Paul 555-8102
Dill yogurt marinade
Two containers for $5
"The best dill yogurt marinade my wife, Cindy, has ever made."
-- Dan Valentine
Cindy 555-6429
August 13, 2008
TV listings
WDER TV's new fall lineup!
Reality Television
[All shows premier August 23]
Will you go with my daughter to the prom?
Housekeeper Swap
We're living in the bathtub!
So, you wanna play the tuba
Exciting MBBA action
September 6 - Adenfro at Wheelership 1:00 p.m.
September 13 - Manchich at Eeedelburo 1:00 p.m.
September 20 - Coop County at Dylan 1:30 p.m.
September 27 - Gafreda at Dragenport 1:30 p.m.
October 4 - MBBA playoffs, 1st round game TBD
Reality Television
[All shows premier August 23]
Will you go with my daughter to the prom?
Housekeeper Swap
We're living in the bathtub!
So, you wanna play the tuba
Exciting MBBA action
September 6 - Adenfro at Wheelership 1:00 p.m.
September 13 - Manchich at Eeedelburo 1:00 p.m.
September 20 - Coop County at Dylan 1:30 p.m.
September 27 - Gafreda at Dragenport 1:30 p.m.
October 4 - MBBA playoffs, 1st round game TBD
Personality Profile
Dan McCutchen
Age: 33
Interests: filling out personality profiles; toaster renovation
In my bedroom you'll find: turnips
Favorite musical group: The Mossy People
Claim to fame: scored 32 points off the bench in a junior varsity basketball game (January, 1991)
Secret shame: expelled from school for shaving points and accepting money from gamblers in a junior varsity basketball game (January, 1991).
Favorite TV show: Who Wants to Sleep in a Bus Terminal?
Prized possession: autographed picture of John Stamos
Favorite number: 42
If I could be anything else, I'd be: a potato chip
Dan box #621
Age: 33
Interests: filling out personality profiles; toaster renovation
In my bedroom you'll find: turnips
Favorite musical group: The Mossy People
Claim to fame: scored 32 points off the bench in a junior varsity basketball game (January, 1991)
Secret shame: expelled from school for shaving points and accepting money from gamblers in a junior varsity basketball game (January, 1991).
Favorite TV show: Who Wants to Sleep in a Bus Terminal?
Prized possession: autographed picture of John Stamos
Favorite number: 42
If I could be anything else, I'd be: a potato chip
Dan box #621
Meetings
Sally's Stationery Store
Store #214 - September staff meeting
On the agenda:
* Wednesday's glue stick fight:
1. Who glued all of the binders together?
2. We're still missing four glue sticks
* The firing, re-hiring and re-firing of Jenna Cleghorn
* Why you have to wear pants to work
September 2, 7:30 p.m.
Store #214 - September staff meeting
On the agenda:
* Wednesday's glue stick fight:
1. Who glued all of the binders together?
2. We're still missing four glue sticks
* The firing, re-hiring and re-firing of Jenna Cleghorn
* Why you have to wear pants to work
September 2, 7:30 p.m.
August 12, 2008
August 11, 2008
TV listings
WDOO's new fall reality-TV lineup is here!
[Shows begin September 1]
Meth Lab - Fayetteville
Grandchild Swap
Take my Aunt to the Dentist
Rescue my Cat!
So, you think you can operate a fork lift?
Bowling Team
How much change is in my couch?
[Shows begin September 1]
Meth Lab - Fayetteville
Grandchild Swap
Take my Aunt to the Dentist
Rescue my Cat!
So, you think you can operate a fork lift?
Bowling Team
How much change is in my couch?
August 10, 2008
For Sale
Penguin
Larry
Age 6; black and white. Loves to chase elderly women.
$30 or best offer
Darrin 555-3301
43 garbanzo beans
$10
Hurry, many interested
Ricky 555-7101
Discount books
City of Ugly People - Randolph Valentine
Idiot's Guide to Reading - Ed. Helen Jameson
Encyclopedia of Washing Machines - Chocolate House Publishing
$3 each
Jenna 555-8872
Larry
Age 6; black and white. Loves to chase elderly women.
$30 or best offer
Darrin 555-3301
43 garbanzo beans
$10
Hurry, many interested
Ricky 555-7101
Discount books
City of Ugly People - Randolph Valentine
Idiot's Guide to Reading - Ed. Helen Jameson
Encyclopedia of Washing Machines - Chocolate House Publishing
$3 each
Jenna 555-8872
August 9, 2008
Wheelbarrows for sale
Wouldn't you love to own a wheelbarrow?
Now you can with Wilbur's Wheelbarrows.
Perfect for:
- Delivering inebriated friends and loved ones home safely
- Turnip/radish transportation
- Eluding police
- Wheelbarrow shows
Give us a call 555-2421
Now you can with Wilbur's Wheelbarrows.
Perfect for:
- Delivering inebriated friends and loved ones home safely
- Turnip/radish transportation
- Eluding police
- Wheelbarrow shows
Give us a call 555-2421
For sale
Wild herring filets (5)
* Wood smoked
$12
Danielle 555-0102
Ties
3 - "I love my grandpa"
1 - Donald Duck
1 - Zach Morris "High School Hunk"
1 - American Flag
1 - American Flag with blinking red, white and blue lights
1 - Red
$5 each
Hank 555-8844
* Wood smoked
$12
Danielle 555-0102
Ties
3 - "I love my grandpa"
1 - Donald Duck
1 - Zach Morris "High School Hunk"
1 - American Flag
1 - American Flag with blinking red, white and blue lights
1 - Red
$5 each
Hank 555-8844
August 8, 2008
New doctor's office opening!
You've tried the rest, now let me have a crack at it.
Jason's Doctor's Office - 755 Ackley Drive, Apt. 1530
Come on in and
- Read the latest issue of Hiding Under Canoe Or Kayak Magazine magazine
- Have your bronchial tubes cleared
Plus much more.
OFFICE HOURS
Mon-Fri 11:00 a.m. - 3:00 p.m.
Sat. noon - 2:00 p.m.
555-9883 for appointments
555-2626 if you just want to speak with Jason (ladies only)
Jason's Doctor's Office - 755 Ackley Drive, Apt. 1530
Come on in and
- Read the latest issue of Hiding Under Canoe Or Kayak Magazine magazine
- Have your bronchial tubes cleared
Plus much more.
OFFICE HOURS
Mon-Fri 11:00 a.m. - 3:00 p.m.
Sat. noon - 2:00 p.m.
555-9883 for appointments
555-2626 if you just want to speak with Jason (ladies only)
August 7, 2008
For Sale
Paper
I've got it all: white lined, plain white, yellow lined, green graph paper, fax cover sheets, orange printing paper, tracing paper. You name it, I'll look around in my basement, but I'm pretty confident I've got it.
email for pricing list: www.buymypaper.com
Bradley
Age 37
bald, glasses
Buy my husband for a fraction of the cost of other husbands. He's handy around the house; pretty good at driving; head coach of the Cleppinger County 12-year old travel basketball team. Collects matchbooks.
$150
Kate 555-6773
I've got it all: white lined, plain white, yellow lined, green graph paper, fax cover sheets, orange printing paper, tracing paper. You name it, I'll look around in my basement, but I'm pretty confident I've got it.
email for pricing list: www.buymypaper.com
Bradley
Age 37
bald, glasses
Buy my husband for a fraction of the cost of other husbands. He's handy around the house; pretty good at driving; head coach of the Cleppinger County 12-year old travel basketball team. Collects matchbooks.
$150
Kate 555-6773
Events
Pinchers Anonymous
Summer retreat
Schedule:
Friday, August 22
Who to call when you break the skin
Saturday, August 23
Sleep pinching: Q&A
Sunday, August 24
Six-mile hike up Pinch Mountain
Three-day retreat - $500
Call 555-0423 for more details
Summer retreat
Schedule:
Friday, August 22
Who to call when you break the skin
Saturday, August 23
Sleep pinching: Q&A
Sunday, August 24
Six-mile hike up Pinch Mountain
Three-day retreat - $500
Call 555-0423 for more details
August 6, 2008
Meetings Posted
The Ex's of Brent Kellog Society
August meeting
- How to remove four tires from a Jeep Wrangler in less than 10 minutes
- Brent's new girlfriend's new cheek implants
- Special Expert Panel: did Brent really graduate from Princeton?
August 10, 7:00 p.m. at Judith Marbury's apartment - 435 Technology Drive
August meeting
- How to remove four tires from a Jeep Wrangler in less than 10 minutes
- Brent's new girlfriend's new cheek implants
- Special Expert Panel: did Brent really graduate from Princeton?
August 10, 7:00 p.m. at Judith Marbury's apartment - 435 Technology Drive
August 5, 2008
Opportunities
Jalinski Computer Company wants to teach you and others how to operate a computer. Choose from one of our four week-long programs:
THE ON-OFF BUTTON
Professor Aaron Cartwright
* Where is the on-off button?
* Protect yourself from overuse
* Should we be calling it the off-on button?
THE KEYBOARD
Professor Kitch McAllister
* I spilled Mountain Dew on my keyboard, now what?
* Typing with a purpose
* Living without the letter 'R'
THE MONITOR
Professor Pip Vanderwal
* Permanent marker horror stories
* Why the monitor shouldn't be in your lap
WHAT ELSE DOES THIS THING DO?
Professor Maria Martinez
Only $400 per course
Call now! 555-8282
THE ON-OFF BUTTON
Professor Aaron Cartwright
* Where is the on-off button?
* Protect yourself from overuse
* Should we be calling it the off-on button?
THE KEYBOARD
Professor Kitch McAllister
* I spilled Mountain Dew on my keyboard, now what?
* Typing with a purpose
* Living without the letter 'R'
THE MONITOR
Professor Pip Vanderwal
* Permanent marker horror stories
* Why the monitor shouldn't be in your lap
WHAT ELSE DOES THIS THING DO?
Professor Maria Martinez
Only $400 per course
Call now! 555-8282
August 4, 2008
Meetings
Nuts About Tables
Fall meeting
Roundtable discussion includes:
* Table tennis Hall of Fame inductions
* Getting your elbows off the table: why our parents were right
September 17, 7:00 p.m.
Fall meeting
Roundtable discussion includes:
* Table tennis Hall of Fame inductions
* Getting your elbows off the table: why our parents were right
September 17, 7:00 p.m.
For sale
Eddie's Wigs & Thigs
Wig clearance
Brown wig $4
Silvery-black wig (used by Dennin Sourbush in the movie What's That Smell?) $7
Blue wigs 5 for $10
Fake wigs $1 each
225 Pelham Road
555-4437
Uncle Henry
44-years old; 5-10, 225; voted "Best Hair" senior year at Stalinski High School (1982). Loves Miller High Life.
$100 or best offer
Craig 555-0901
Wig clearance
Brown wig $4
Silvery-black wig (used by Dennin Sourbush in the movie What's That Smell?) $7
Blue wigs 5 for $10
Fake wigs $1 each
225 Pelham Road
555-4437
Uncle Henry
44-years old; 5-10, 225; voted "Best Hair" senior year at Stalinski High School (1982). Loves Miller High Life.
$100 or best offer
Craig 555-0901
Monday morning personal ads
Men seeking women
21, SWM. Student at Paymont University, studying to be a Happleblonicist with a concentration in Kikkley-Shanes 2. Former quarterback at Ginsburg High School (2002-2005); threw 17 touchdown passes during 2004-2005 season, which is still a Benson family record, though none of my relatives actually played high school football.
Zach box 87921
I need a ride to work.
Bobby box 54052
Women seeking men
I've been in a lot of bad relationships that have ended in Waffle House parking lots. I'm looking for a man that doesn't work at Waffle House.
Cassandra box 33361
God is #1; my lord and savior. Oprah is #2. You'll have to compete with my cat, Sprinkles, for the #3 spot. Here's a good way to get a leg up on him: shut your mouth and don't be scratching me while I watch Maurey Povich.
Tina box 89879
21, SWM. Student at Paymont University, studying to be a Happleblonicist with a concentration in Kikkley-Shanes 2. Former quarterback at Ginsburg High School (2002-2005); threw 17 touchdown passes during 2004-2005 season, which is still a Benson family record, though none of my relatives actually played high school football.
Zach box 87921
I need a ride to work.
Bobby box 54052
Women seeking men
I've been in a lot of bad relationships that have ended in Waffle House parking lots. I'm looking for a man that doesn't work at Waffle House.
Cassandra box 33361
God is #1; my lord and savior. Oprah is #2. You'll have to compete with my cat, Sprinkles, for the #3 spot. Here's a good way to get a leg up on him: shut your mouth and don't be scratching me while I watch Maurey Povich.
Tina box 89879
August 3, 2008
For sale
Directions for sale
I've got all kinds of driving directions. Get 'em while they're hot:
[directions come on white printing paper. Black ink]
-- Your house to my house
-- My house to the Shell station
-- My house to Gary's apartment
-- My house to the liquor store
-- Gary's apartment to the Shell station
-- Liquor store to Beefy's Fast Food Hut with the hot drive-thru chick
-- Six Flags to the county jail
-- Gary's mother's house to the county jail
-- Gary's mother's house to the liquor store
Pricing structure
Right turns $.50
Left turns $.75
Highway travel $.25 per mile
Len 555-2980
I've got all kinds of driving directions. Get 'em while they're hot:
[directions come on white printing paper. Black ink]
-- Your house to my house
-- My house to the Shell station
-- My house to Gary's apartment
-- My house to the liquor store
-- Gary's apartment to the Shell station
-- Liquor store to Beefy's Fast Food Hut with the hot drive-thru chick
-- Six Flags to the county jail
-- Gary's mother's house to the county jail
-- Gary's mother's house to the liquor store
Pricing structure
Right turns $.50
Left turns $.75
Highway travel $.25 per mile
Len 555-2980
August 2, 2008
Services
Bread taster for hire
Let me taste your bread, see if it's OK.
I taste:
* wheat
* rye
* white
* marble
* Now also tasting pumpernickel *
$7/hour
Jimmy 555-5898
Let me taste your bread, see if it's OK.
I taste:
* wheat
* rye
* white
* marble
* Now also tasting pumpernickel *
$7/hour
Jimmy 555-5898
August 1, 2008
For sale
Pants
Brown. Two pockets in front; two in back
$6 or $8 w/belt
Carl 555-2001
Pitcher's Mound
- 100% dirt
- Used rosen bag included
- Same mound Dirk Tannen threw his famous "over-the-shoulder" pitch in 1992
$25
Coach Gary 555-6092
Brown. Two pockets in front; two in back
$6 or $8 w/belt
Carl 555-2001
Pitcher's Mound
- 100% dirt
- Used rosen bag included
- Same mound Dirk Tannen threw his famous "over-the-shoulder" pitch in 1992
$25
Coach Gary 555-6092
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