Opportunities

I built a french bread boat and I'm going to sail around the world.

Must be willing to switch sandwich meat and condiment costs.

** Looking to sail away by June 22 **


Joe M. 555-9995

Opportunities

All-you-can-eat sandpaper

* For a limited time *


Bryson  555-6100

Opportunities

Learn how to speak fluently with a toothbrush in your mouth!

My two-week tutorial is available now.


Other tutorials for sale:

* How To Balance A Check Book On Your Nose
* Naming The Individual Ants In Your Ant Farm: Boys Names
* How To Breathe With Your Nose & Mouth Stuffed With Fried Calamari


Buy each tutorial on one DVD or five VHS


Call for pricing list
Michelle  555-9443

Opportunities

Adopt a portion of my living room wall

* Close proximity to the sliding glass door that leads to the backyard
* Appeared in the public access TV show Pointing At Walls With Paul
* One dachshund (age 2) available for adoption as well


Paul  555-6671

Opportunities

Adopt a portion of my carpet

* Close proximity to my dresser
* Appeared in the reality TV show Where Are My Contact Lenses?!
* One human child (age 4) available for adoption as well


Call 555-0003 for more information

Opportunities

Adopt a portion of my front lawn

* Close proximity to sea shell road 6
* Appeared in the reality TV show Cutting The Grass With Scissors With The Stars
* One dog (age 6) and one human child (age 7) available for adoption as well


Call 555-2871 for more information

Opportunities

Plumptin City College - Yupez campus location
Brand-new courses added to fall, 2013 curriculum!


* Book Opening
* Where Are The Vending Machines?
* Survey: Counting Rain Drops
* How To Eat Many Baby Carrots At One Time
* Where Does The Campus Shuttle Go On Thursdays?


For full course catalog, call 555-5663 

Opportunities

All-you-can-eat paint brush bristles

* For a limited time *


Bryson 555-6100

Opportunities

Adopt-a-railroad track

We adopted a portion of the railroad tracks in downtown Kaynesport about a year ago and it hasn't quite worked out. Perhaps all it needs is a fresh start with a new family.

* Close proximity to Sand Route 9 *


Adoption price: $35
Carla & Mel  555-9123

Opportunities

Looking for a place to sleep?

I've got an adult sleeping bag (green) and I'm about to call it a night.

Plenty of room for one more.

* Other half of a roast beef sandwich available for the right person
* Call in the next 30 minutes to book a spot in the sleeping bag and receive two free hugs (ladies only)


Henry  555-1110

Opportunities

Kaynesport Community College
New summer classes offered soon!


* History of the Hat

- Pre-requisite: History of Hair

* Survey: Guys Named Drew

- Pre-requisite: Ladies Named Drew

* Corridors 101

- Pre-requisite: Honors High School Hallway

* Intro to Leaves

* How to Peel a Grapefruit

- Pre-requisite: Where Can I Buy a Grapefruit?

Registration begins May 30

Opportunities

You want to go to Mars?

I've built a spaceship and I'm flying to Mars sometime in April.

* One seat available (ladies only)
* Call in the next 30 minutes to book a seat and receive one free hug
* Pre-flight meet-and-greet at my house, March 27 at 11:00 p.m.


Jeremy  555-3049

Opportunities

Adopt a portion of Sea Shell Road 4

Call 555-6617 for more details

Opportunities

Kaynesport Community College
New summer classes offered!


* Intro to Water Fountains

- Pre-requisite: Honors High School Water 101 

* Survey: Women Named Dorothy

- Pre-requisite: Women Named Beth

* Understanding Ice Cubes Trays

- Pre-requisite: Understanding Ice Cubes

* Where's the Math & Science Building?

- Pre-requisite: When Is The Campus Shuttle Going To Get Here?



Register today!
Kaynesport CC 555-2391

Opportunities

I built a flour tortilla boat and I'm going to sail around the world, or down the Kaynesport River for a little while.

If interested, give me a call.

(Ladies ages 18-through-23 only)


Jeremy  555-3049

Opportunities

Opportunities

All-you-can-eat feathers

* For a limited time *


Bryson 555-6100

Opportunities

I built a hot dog bun boat and I'm going to sail around the world. If interested, give me a call.

(Ladies only)


Jeremy  555-3049

Opportunities

Kaynesport Community College
New classes offered!


* Understanding Ice Cubes

* History of the Sneaker

- Pre-requisite: History of the Foot

* Survey: Guys Named Ernie

- Pre-requisite: Guys Named Darryl

* Intro to Elevators & Escalators

* Where's the Bookstore?

- Pre-requisite: When is the #8 bus going to get here?



Register today!
Kaynesport CC 555-2391

Opportunities

You want to go to the moon?

I've built a spaceship and I'm going to the moon.

If you want to go with me to the moon, come to a pre-flight meeting at my house, October 24 at 8:00 p.m. (Ladies only)


Jeremy 555-3049