House for sale

1/8 BR
6 BATH
1 MAYONNAISEBALL WALL
2 FERRET (alive: Ernie, dead: Ernie Jr.)

* Windows arriving May, 2011
* Used in the filming of the 2006 holiday classic Do They Know it's only August?


Open house: February 13 from 3:00 p.m. until 5:30 p.m.
4302 Gongola Crossing, Corcoran City

New headquarters

The Bobby Classifieds has moved into its new home on 2323 East Feathers Place

Events

Xavier's 4th annual Super Bowl Party

Schedule of events:

4:30 p.m. - Coat/reptile check
4:45 p.m. - Oatmeal Dunk Tank - semifinals & finals
5:30 p.m. - Awards presentation
5:50 p.m. - Let's get Uncle Ian drunk real quick
6:00 p.m. - Slide show of past SB parties

Includes:

* Andy & Dominic re-enact fumble, inadvertently kiss
* When Beth threw up on the TV

8:30 p.m. - Halftime guest speaker, Plumptin High School offensive line coach Harvey Colson: "Stay clear of the upstairs bathroom"

Post-game

11:00 p.m. - Complimentary ear cleanings
11:15 p.m. - Armed guard escorts to cellar
11:40 p.m. - Armed guard escorts to parking lot


Today at 4:30 p.m. at the Poloca Street ballroom

Thoughts for sale

These have been on my mind for years. It's time I got some new thoughts.

* Someone stole my cucumber flashlight
* Drinking that puddle water for $5 wasn't a very good idea
* I'm in a raccoon costume, super glued to the roof
* I've never met a tall Brandon
* That's the last time I drink an entire bottle of shampoo to impress my father-in-law


$10 each
Denny 555-8178

For sale

Mosquito collection

* Over 3,000 available *

- 1,140 dead


$700 for entire collection or $.30 per mosquito

Meetings

Amateur Chefs Club
February meeting


On the agenda:

* Why Harriet's ice cube soup didn't work


February 7, 11:30 a.m. at Milo's Restaurant

Events

Broccoli Dog is coming June 1

Award Winner

2010 Build Your Dream House: 9th place

Congratulations to Oggy, Miranda, Z'Ontabeus and the rest of the team on our third consecutive top-10 finish.


- D. Morris

For sale

Chicken bones



* Acquired in a trade for two banana peals (January, 2010)


$2 each or $6 for all four
Tommy 555-3521

Destinations

Visit Exit 75 in downtown Plumptin County!

For sale

Magazines

Couch Scavenger Hunt for Kids (April, 2003)
American Puddle (May, 2005)
Better Sheds & Wasp Nests (November, 2004; February, 2005)
Caterpillar's Life (January, 1988)


$6 each
Liam 555-0070

Announcements

Now THAT'S art, or is it?, in conjuction with The Bobby Classifieds, presents the first annual Art Contest and Arm Pit Identification Spectacular! Each month, you decide which work of art is the best.

Finalists will be announced at ACAPIS, April 1, 2010.

February entries:


"Snow Falling at Night on Murray Patterson"
by Kwon Raburn, East Plumptin



"Portrait: Professor Quigley"
by Melanie Casperitis, Kaynesport


* Vote for your favorite on the front-page poll
* To enter March's contest, email oscarrainbow@gmail.com

January winner: "Love Affair"

TV listings

Check out WDWD's new Monday lineup!


REALITY TV

My Sweet 37 Party - 8:00 p.m.
Derwood the Clown cancels, so Arnold sulks in the corner.

Watch me Eat Gravel - 9:00 p.m.
Edwin eats some gravel.

Who Wants to Marry my Mom? - 10:00 p.m.
Nancy is humiliated after being left at the buffet. Plus: Debra shows up to her wedding in overalls.


MOVIE NIGHT - 11:00 p.m.

Boysenberries in the Hood



5:40 a.m. - Faking ear infections with Ivan