For sale

Movies on DVD

The Girl With The Gas Pump Tattoo
Overflowing Bathtub At Bernie's
Throw That's Guy's Luggage From The Train
The Greatest Customer Ever Put On Hold


$4 each
Mike 555-2339

For sale

Used play scripts


Eggplant!
A Midsummer Night's Sneeze
The Phantom of the Middle School Football Booster Club Meeting
Combover of a Salesman


$5 each
Wendy 555-7588

Child for sale

Derrick
Age: 7

Pluses: Has third-grade connections.
Minuses: Doesn't know the capital of anywhere; picked his ear, ate it (July, 2009); left his jacket at school last Tuesday.
Favorite food: Chocolate syrup and cauliflower in a bowl of warm water.
Sleeps: About an hour per night on the kitchen counter.
What he wants to be when he grows up: "A crime-fighting eggplant".


$700
Beth & Troy 555-9112


* Interesting trades for pure-bred dachshunds considered

Meetings

Clock Watcher's Society - Plumptin chapter
January meeting


On the agenda:

* October 6, 2011, 4:40 p.m: a retrospective
* The record release party for Sandra's new album I Got The Quarter After Seven Blues has been moved to February 10th (7:15 p.m.)
* When is it going to be 11:40?


January 4, 1:00 p.m. at headquarters

For sale

Pine cone sandwich

* Fresh
* Comes with one additional pine cone


$2
Ivan 555-8111

For sale

1/2 plate of scrambled eggs


$2
Trent 555-3241


** Call in the next 45 minutes and receive a free piece of toast **

Services

Need to knock on a door?


Joe Maglio 555-9995

For sale

VHS movies


The Greatest Hoagie Roll to Ever Mold
Scotch Tapes of Wrath
Desperately Seeking Dental Floss
Arm Rest of the Opera


$4 each
Gwen 555-6681

Meetings

Plumptin Referee's Association
Post-season meeting


Items to discuss:

* For next season, please put your microphone & belt on after your pants
* The following was called on three separate occasions in 2011 and is not a penalty: "illegal nose on the face"


December 30, 2:00 p.m. at PCRA headquarters

For sale

Santa beard

- White w/honey mustard dressing
- Used in the filming of the holiday reality TV show Help, I Married A Mall Santa!


$8
Chuck 555-7791


* Hurry, Trevor is interested

Events

Meet Barry!



January 4 from 1:00 p.m.-3:00 p.m. in front of Pond 7

Public Service Announcement

Sofas shouldn't be caged



Help us free the Kaynesport couch hostages in time for next Christmas.


Call 555-3381 for more information

For sale

Discount Christmas items


* Photos of Santa Claus

- Asleep with ants crawling in his beard
- Santa vs. Grandma arm wrestling, semi finals (6 photos)

* Christmas DVD

- Waiter, There's An Elf Ear In My Soup: The Closing Of Shanahan's Bar & Grill

CD singles

- O' Holey Socks - The Pool Boys
- Whose Baby Daddy Is This? - Peggy Cliff All Stars


Call for pricing list
Harriet & Toby 555-4682

Events

It's the 27th annual Peggy Cliff holiday concert!

Get your tickets now:

Reserved seating: $75
Lettuce pit: $40
Wheelbarrow rentals (general admission): $5


Peggy will be singing all of her hits:

* "I Saw Mommy Kissing Everyone"
* "Ya'll Can Keep 'Em (My Two Front Teeth)"
* "(Countin' On) Pigeon Folk"
* "It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like January"
* "There Used To Be A Bald Spot"
* "I Saw Mommy Kissing Trevor's Mommy"


December 30, 7:00 p.m. at Plumptin Arena
Box office: 555-4493