Buffoons for hire

** Just flown in **

- Over 20,000 in stock
- Perfect for gluing things to
- Plenty of Derwoods available


555-4301

Events

Tonight at 8:00 p.m., it's the Bobby Classifieds' 2nd annual A Cookin' New Years Eve!

Hosted by John Plum and Sissy Paddock


**JUST ADDED**

Stand-up comedian Hunclebunk


Brought to you by:


Celery Sock



Beginning tonight at 8:00 p.m., right after the season finale of Get My Momma to Church! on WDER.

For sale

Magazines


Swamp & Crawler (November, 1997)
Greg (May, 2006)
Bologna Jacket Maker (November, 2009)


$5 each
Liam 555-0070

Advertisements

75% off
555-6681

Comic

For sale

1987 Verk Juzter XE



* 537,000 miles
* Steering wheel in good shape


$50 or best offer
Marty 555-1327

For sale

School-children


Thomas
Age: 8
Pluses: Has third grade connections
Minuses: Still won't let anyone wash his Mr. Blankey; literally has two left feet
Favorite meal: Bowls of ketchup with sugar cubes


Morgan
Age: 7
Pluses: Ears pierced since 2006
Minuses: On school bus, sits in seat above tire; sneezes into a paper bag/saves sneezes
Imaginary friend(s): Henry (deceased)


$80 each

Mrs. Frederick
555-7718

For sale

Autographed potatoes


A - Alejandro $40
B - Dennis Boddicker $30
C - Bobby Feathers $115


Pete
555-8817

Comic

New product

Ernigers-brand Lettuce Juice




* Now with 35% more pencil
* Recommended by four out of five guys named Ben
* Contains plenty of Vitamin Zheb kids need to play video games


Pick up a bottle today!

Events

Grumson, Linus & Nultz Law Offices
2009 Holiday Party


Schedule of events:

7:00 p.m. - Firings: Heather Banneker, Tim Winkley
7:10 p.m. - Cream of Broccoli Soup Dunk Tank - semi finals/finals/consolation finals
8:30 p.m. - Let's Hide Mr. Grumson's Hair Piece
9:15 p.m. - Live musical performance by It Couldn't Be Head Lice
11:00 p.m. - Award ceremony:

- Chubby Wrists Award
- Furthest Parking Space from Door
- Best Pointer

12:00 a.m. - 16th annual Snow Shovel Your Way to the Parking Lot


December 29 at Nunch Valley Ballroom

Home for sale

1/2 BR
0 BATH
8 HORNETS NEST

Free with purchase:

- Uncle Miles
- Bologna Squad action figure set (includes Lunchmeat Larry)
- Uncle Miles' world-famous onion collection


** Used in the filming of the 1998 made-for-TV film The Ghost of Lawnmower 37


Open house - January 2 from 11:30 a.m. - 4:00 p.m.
185 Quinkley Manor, West Dylan

Comic

Openings

King Deki Flea Market
Grand opening



Open Monday through Saturday, 8:00 a.m. - 7:00 p.m.
King Deki's - 675 Weaver Way, Plumptin Industrial Complex