Public Service Announcement

Help prevent young apples from turning to a life on the streets.


C.O.R.E.
Call 555-4041 to find out how you can help

Opportunities

Kaynesport Community College
New classes offered!


* Understanding Ice Cubes

* History of the Sneaker

- Pre-requisite: History of the Foot

* Survey: Guys Named Ernie

- Pre-requisite: Guys Named Darryl

* Intro to Elevators & Escalators

* Where's the Bookstore?

- Pre-requisite: When is the #8 bus going to get here?



Register today!
Kaynesport CC 555-2391

For sale

Empty soda can

* Recently-emptied
* Tab sold separately 

$3
Marty  555-9223

For sale

Donnie Samples autographed paper plate





$250
Beverly 555-2987

Services

Band aid removal service


$6/band aid
Ronald 555-9771

Meetings

PleasePay Groceries - Store #113
Staff meeting


On the agenda:

* What's the code for parsley?
* No pulling the customers' hair while they swipe their credit cards


August 29, 9:00 a.m.

Home for rent

1/8 BR
1 WALL

* Front door installed May, 2011 *

- Bathroom just a two-minute drive
- Close proximity to mud pit 6
- Used in the filming of the 2008 motion picture Raccoon Wedding


$93/month
Ben & Nadine 555-6196

For sale

Mouthpiece



* Orange
* Used only four times by only two people
* Appeared on the hit reality TV show Football Statistician Life


$1 or best offer
Hank 555-7888

For sale

Napkin clearance

Everything must go!


* New and used
* Many colors available


Call for pricing list
Vincent 555-4515

For sale

Bulk egg shells



* Perfect for that special someone *


Call for pricing list
Mel's Shells 555-8177

Services

Need to coax a loved down from a telephone poll?


Joe Maglio 555-9995

For sale

DVD movies


My Best Friend's Shedding
Desperately Seeking Deodorant
Raspberry jelly Stain of a Salesman


$5 each or all 3 for $12
Jill 555-9772

For hire

Hit man

"I can be very persuasive."


Now offering:

* Pushings
* Scratches
* Aggressive pointing
* Arm underfat pinches

and

"the old celery-in-the-ear"


Call for rates and availability
Terrence 555-3371

Meetings

Taco Palace
Staff meeting


Items to discuss:

* Put on your work pants after your belt
* The front pocket of a customer's pants is not a "taco shell"


August 22, 9:00 a.m.