Meetings

Calendar Watchers
Fall meeting


On the agenda:

* Days We Can Do Without with Dr. Elroy Riles, Part 6: July 17
* When is it going to be November?
* "The calendars are watching me": the institutionalization of former club president Callie Sanford


September 2, 1:00 p.m. at Rodney's apartment gazebo

For sale

Potato

* RARE *


$11
Caroline  555-8171

Announcements

Sandcastle building contest

The Bobby Classifieds - 18th place

For sale

Bottle of diet soda

* About 3/4 full
* Used in the filming of the documentary film Race You To The Worm Store 3
* Piece of tortilla chip at bottom free with purchase


$3
Aaron  555-0109

For rent

Spoon

$5/half hour
Patricia  555-2288

For sale

Reality TV on DVD

* Help! My Daughter Wants To Marry A Ventriloquist - Season 4
* Sealing Envelopes With The Stars - Final season
* Bus Stop: Orlando
* Get Me Down From This Chandelier! - Season 7


$6 each
Nadine  555-4494

Missing

Pepper

* Red
* Last seen Thursday in a salad
* Reward lettuce offered


Chip & Marjorie  555-3377

For sale

Three cockroaches

* Two dead, one nearly dead
* Cat food, tupperware and three ounces of water free with purchase
* Ask about our installment options


$10 each or all three for $25
Abe  555-2211

For sale

Asparagus

* Used in the production of the hit play Asparagus!


$3 each or both for $5
Kevin  555-0392

For sale

Hair




* Human *


$.20 per hair or $15 for the whole pile
Janet 555-3219

Events

Derwood Charities
Upcoming events

August 27 - Clothe the Goldfish fundraiser at East Vanderells Theater
September 3 - Peggy Cliff benefit concert to help raise awareness of rain (Kaynesport Amphitheater)
September 14 - Feed The Couch Cushions fundraiser at Fishbine Hall & Cafeteria
September 22 - Find the Leaves a Home fundraiser at East Vanderells Theater
October 6 - The Mossy People benefit concert to help bring an end to the senseless destruction of tissues (Kaynesport Amphitheater)
October 28 - Stop Shampoo Drinking: intervention with Reverend Donnie Craig at Feathers Street Baptist Church
November 2 - Forehead benefit concert to help raise awareness of benefit concerts (Plumptin Auditorium)


Call for tickets
Derwood Charities 555-4491

Public Service Announcement

Meetings

8th Street Laundromat
Staff meeting

Items to discuss:

* Customers are not allowed to take home their driers
* Cigarettes for Socks Thursdays have been postponed indefinitely
* The restrooms are for humans only


Monday morning, 9:00 a.m.

Public Service Announcement

You can prevent your branches from leaving the tree and turning to a life on the streets.

Call 555-3399 to find out how you can make a difference.