For sale

My son's latest original piece titled "My Dad Kent"

* Crayon-on-paper
* Comes with three used crayons (one blue, two black)


$75
Kent  555-3773

** Ask about our installment plans **

Meetings

Car pool to work
Pre-March 4 meeting

February 28, 6:30 p.m. in back two rows of Paul's van


Motivational tape/cassette player: Linda
Moistened paper towels: Keaton
Practice toll money: Amanda

Services

Need a lamp turned on/off?


Joe Maglio  555-9995

For rent

Leftover confetti

* Used in the making of the 2013 independent film Hippo Wedding
* Free directions to my friend Seth's house (on unshredded paper) with rental agreement


$9/hour
Thomas  555-7491

For sale

Reality TV on DVD


* Do Your Grandma & Grandpa Have To Be Here? - Final season
* Ant Farm Swap - Complete series
* The Real Wasp Nests of the Plumptin County Public Library - Season 1


$6 each
Wendy  555-0032

Public Service Announcement

Save the corn: don't let it get eaten.

Call 555-9448 to find out how you can help

For rent

Vegetable peeler

$8/half hour
Garret  555-9220

Meetings

Flight 1263 from Poog Valley
Row J post-flight meeting


* Taking inventory: how many tray tables did we end up with?


3:15 p.m. at Gate 9, near the men's restroom

For sale

1/2 roast beef sandwich

* Contains 17% more mayonnaise than any other sandwich in my neighborhood, according to a morning study
* Four napkins (one contains some mayonnaise) free with purchase

$3
Hal  555-5996

Also available: elderly man and a slightly-used motor scooter. Inquire within.

Award winner

2013 Build Your Dream House: 14th place

Congratulations to Murray, Qwayshon and the rest of the team.


- D. Morris

For sale

Portions of the phone book

* T-W for West Kaynesport available
* Several pages appeared in the 2012 documentaries Is It Spelled Torkelson Or Torkleson? and Calling Janet Vanderells
* Free plumbing company refrigerator magnet with purchase


Call for pricing list
Brent  555-2008

Public Service Announcement

Don't let your peppers and onions give in to tomato pressure.

It's not too late, call 555-8343 to help turn your vegetable's life around.

Services

Need a Joe Maglio business card?


Joe Maglio  555-9995

Services

Advice man for hire


* Don't wash your car with honey mustard
* Bringing a boogie board into a hot tub
* Making a pot roast out of a molehill
* Opening/closing windows 101
* What not to shout at a ballet recital


Call for rates and availability
Pierre  555-4710