Public Service Announcement

Disconnections

I fell off a riding lawnmower right in front of you as you were walking on the sidewalk the other day.

I noticed you couldn't take your eyes off of me.

What brand of chocolate bar was all over my hands?


Dale  555-4330

Events

The 1st annual Kaynesport Film Festival is almost here!

Films to be screened:

Things We Lost in the Sauerkraut
All the President's Hens
Throw Momma's Orthopedic Back Pillow from the Train
Garden Snakes of Wrath
The Greatest Scrambled Eggs To Ever Go Cold

Plus, the newest documentary film from director Claus Percy:

Lady at a Film Festival


October 19 at the Derwood Filmhouse - 4500 Poog Blvd., Kaynesport

Services

Need pools swam in?


Joe Maglio  555-9995

Vigils

Former rain puddle

We'll be convening at the corner of Delwood Lane & Piso Street in Kaynesport to honor the life of a once-great rain puddle.

Special events include:

* Eulogy by Reverend Donnie Craig: The next generation of rain puddles
* Peggy Cliff sings her new single "When's it gonna rain again?"
* Worm adoptions

Puddle in its prime, last Friday


Saturday, 4:00 p.m.
For more information call Stacey at 555-4955

Missing

Some popcorn

[age progression photo from a few minutes ago]


* Missing since this morning
* Last seen as un-popped kernels. We're very worried.
* Reward potato chips offered


Fred & Liza  555-0112

Wanted

I'd like to find a mirror to look into or at least someone to tell me if this top looks alright on me.

Willing to provide any of my dad's stupid tennis trophies in exchange for services.


Caitlyn  555-8772

Meetings

Friends of Lenny Baddamor
September meeting

On the agenda:

* We've added the following items to the winter auction: a sleeve from Lenny's leather jacket, some lettuce Lenny didn't eat in July
* January 16, 2009: the day we met Bennie Lattamore
* Our field trip to Lenny's little league dugout has been moved to November 4th
* Lenny doesn't like eggplant anymore


September 26, 7:30 p.m. at Claire's apartment complex gazebo

For sale

Neckties


* Blue
* Flying pork chops
* "TOO COOL FOR DENTAL SCHOOL"
* Singing staplers
* Earthworm Ernie


$6 each
Ron 555-3207

Services

Need the correct time?

* Any time before 3:15 p.m. - $3 for each time given
* 3:15 p.m.-9:59 p.m. - $4
* 10:00 p.m. or later - $1 + 15-second back rub


Joe Maglio  555-9995

TV listings

WDER's Saturday reality TV lineup

7:30 p.m. - Alarm Clock Swap
8:00 p.m. - My Feet Hurt! (season 5 reunion show)
8:30 p.m. - Who Won't Shower?!
9:00 p.m. - Is Your Breath Worse Than A Third Grader's?
10:00 p.m. - Baseball Groundskeeper Wives


WDER

Kaynesport - channel 23
Ookamondo - channel 44
East Plumptin - channel 37
Durly Valley - channel 56

For sale

My child's art work

* "Mr.  Tomlinson" - original crayon on construction paper
* Three-year old (female human) & 17-day old (guinea pig) free with purchase


Call for pricing list
Andy & Paige  555-7444

Missing

Wanted

I'm looking to purchase one right-footed bowling shoe, preferably blue and a men's size between 10-13.

Willing to pay as much as $9 or the equivalent in bird seed.


Jarrett  555-3220