June 26, 2009

Police report

Paws McMurtry
Age: 34
Pants: yes

June 25: Mr. McMurtry was arrested with 400 gallons of mayonnaise and 125 pounds of toe nails with intent to distribute.

Previous arrests

May, 2003: Taken into police custody for refusing to remove his pine cone hat and stirrups in a government building.

December, 1997: Arrested for crawling under the influence and resisting lettuce.

BAIL: $17

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