October 26, 2009

Police report

Vernon Easterly
Age: 36
Pants: No

October 25: Taken into custody for bathing in a downtown bird bath. Mr. Easterly claimed he was "just trying to teach the younger birds how to lather properly."

Previous arrests:

November 7, 2004: Arrested for failing to produce a valid crawler's license after police discovered Mr. Easterly crawling on a highway off-ramp.

April 18, 2000: Found with more than three pounds of owl feathers with intent to distribute.

May 24, 1999: Arrested for acorn neglect.

Bail: $15

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