Obituary

Helen Kleinschmidt
1925-2012

Mrs. Kleinschmidt died doing what she loved: throwing clumps of grass at neighborhood children. Was minister in the first legalized mouse marriage (January, 2009), and once spent a night in a bed of ketchup to win a bet.

Founding member of the political activist groups S.O.C.C. (Separation of Caterpillar & Coffee) and E.R.G.N. (Equal Rights for Goldfish Now).

Funeral services are set for October 27 at 4:00 p.m., then it's off to Jimmy Q's for 80s music trivia.