For sale

Sports memorabilia

Dayne Jeffries autographed football
- personalized to "Ditty Bop"
$175

1992 Mendley Generals
- signed baseball (w/ketchup stain)
$53

Golf ball
$4


Leonard 555-2727

Services

Adlai's Van & Limo Rentals
"Putting the Adlai in 'Adlai's Van & Limo Rentals' since early Sunday morning."

- Vans are "really groovy"
- Limos come in white, black, green and greenish-white
- Singing prohibited
- Mention this ad

Adlai's 555-7712


Orange peeler for hire

Tony Ranickio

* 20+ years of peeling experience
* Peeled for the United States team during the 2002 games
* Will save peel if requested

$12/hour 555-5549

For sale

A life

I'm tired of my life. If you haven't been out in a while; need a person give me a call. I've been seeing three different women at the same time (all "under age 25" or "over age 25", who knows).

I'm a junior partner at McCalley & Brandenburg law firm. I drive a really expensive car and I whistle and honk my horn at attractive ("and unattractive" - my friend Joel) women I see on the sidewalks. I bench press several pounds or so and I won "Best Hair" during my senior year of high school (1995). My mother, Deloris, comes over a lot, but she has her own futon.


David 555-7273

For rent

Apartment


2 BR
3 BATH
2 BEE HIVES
0 FLOORS

*Floors coming October, 2008


$745/month
Shanticleer Terrace Apartments 555-4483

Meetings

FRIENDS OF RAY BISHOP
Summer 2008 meeting


* Hall of Fame nominations
* Why wasn't Ray All-District in football in 1987?
* Ray's new step-dad, Keith

* Is Ray moving to Nashville?


Slideshow: Hannah and Terry


Sunday, August 10 at 7:30 p.m.

Meetings

BEEFY'S Fast Food Hut
Staff meeting - Store #317

On the agenda-

* What not to do in the walk-in freezer
* Coming Clean with our facial hair: Whose got a beard and who's faking?
* Q&A - The dismissal of Robert Kepshire
* What happened to all of the mayonnaise?
* Why you can't bring your pet to work


Tuesday 8:00 p.m.

For rent

Apartment

1 BR

1/8 BATH

1 GRANDMOTHER

$240/month

555-6151

Clipboards for sale

Looking for clipboards?

I've got 23 Saunders-brand clipboards. Used only once for a talent show (July, 2003).


"The perfect accompaniment for paper or my name isn't Wayne Darlington."


$3 each


Wayne 555-8641

Services

Need a plane ride somewhere?

I just bought an airplane and I've got no one to take anywhere. Plane is grayish-silver; seats 45 comfortably. Tremendous view, once we're up in the sky.

No armadillos.


Luther
555-1001

Meetings

American Legion Post 717
Emergency meeting

Agenda:

7:00 p.m. Bingo/drinking contests (Quarterfinals)
7:40 p.m. Dinner
8:05 p.m. Drinking
8:45 p.m. Breather
9:00 p.m. Fussing and Griping 2008 (Brought to you by Popeyes)


July 12, 2:00 p.m.

Personal Ad of the Day

27, SWF

Searching for a man to help me take care of my kids--Darren, 12; Brendon, 10; Jennifer, 8; Marsha, 6; Harold Jr., 5; Hillary, 5; James, 3; Harold III, 2

Would love to meet a man named Harold.


Jeanette 555-7162

For rent

APARTMENTS FOR RENT

2 BR
1/2 BATH
1 UNCLE (Vito)

$320/month, bathroom mat included.

Tennager Falls apartment complex 555-0007


197 Brooben Street

9 BR
1 BATH

$210/month


555-8174

Apartment for rent

2 BR
1/3 BATH
0 KITCHEN

$650/month + utilities + cost of new kitchen


445 Main Street, NW Plumptin

For sale

KITCHENWIDE SALE!!!

celery stalks $.75 each
radish .27
Ernie Jr. $70
baby carrots .07 each
steak knife (no handle) $1.00

Ernie 555-3719