Meetings

Sleepwalkers Anonymous
October meeting


Topics to discuss:

- Sleep battle rapping: Q&A
- Is Ernie faking?
- Sleep running 101


October 5, 8:00 p.m.

For sale

Dental bill

- $227.43 due
- Filled out, printed by receptionist Diane


$200 or best offer
Patricia 555-2303

** Mailing address for collection agency sold separately **

Meetings

Men in Refrigerators
Fall meeting


On the agenda:

* The asparagus-in-the-ear joke is no longer funny
* Our softball game against the Men Near Microwaves has been moved to October 9


Tomorrow, 1:00 p.m.

For sale

CDs

Houses of the Moldy - Silver Tooth
Under the Chandelier and Standing - Bert Sansing Trio
My Big, Fat, Greek Sister: Soundtrack - Various artists


$6 each
Harold 555-6891

TV listings

Check out WDOO's new Tuesday lineup!

REALITY TV

America's Got Lunch Meat - 8:00 p.m.
Amy's Tower of Turkey collapses and she has to spend a day in the mayo pit.

Grocery Store - 10:00 p.m.
The cashiers argue over the code for lemons and deli manager Bert is again caught sleeping in a pile of recalled cereal and is forced to take a leave of absence.



Late Night Picture - 11:00 p.m.

Movie of Scenes



6:10 a.m. - Wearing a turtleneck into the pool

For sale

Shampoo gun

* Used by Deke Murdock during his silver medal-winning performance at the 2008 Shower Olympics
* Comes with three practice wigs


$40
Trevor 555-4758

Casting call

The Feathers-Morris Theater Company is holding auditions for the following roles in the upcoming production of Toll Booth on the Roof.

- Ivan
- Smooshed banana art salesman, Clem Sanferd
- Dream Wendell
- Ice Cube War historian
- Evil Juan
- Voice of singing ketchup packet
- Coleslaw Man/Coleslaw Man alter ego, Ernie Brown


** We're also looking for someone who can talk a woman down from an airplane wing **


Auditions - October 2, 1:00 p.m.-7:30 p.m. at our new building on Gallego Crossing, Kaynesport

For sale

Used books


Idiot's Guide to the Salt Shaker - Ed. Penny Cartwright
In Times of Promiscuous Pinching - Lawrence Toliver
The Encyclopedia of Chewed Gum - Chocolate House Publishing
An Illustrated History of Astro Turf Eating Contests - Kenny Persons


$3 each
Jan 555-8100

Home for sale

1 BR
6 BATH
2 SALAMI CAPE

* Former headquarters for support groups:

- "Women Named Vanessa" (Kaynesport chapter)
- "Fake Limps Anonymous"

* Grandpa Rob/Grandpa Rob's peanut shell collection (approximately 11,000 shells as of September 22) come with house
* Used in the filming of the 2009 reality TV show Are You Smellier Than a 3rd Grader?


Open house - October 2 from 2:00 p.m. - 5:00 p.m.
4755 Scooner Crossing, East Kaynesport

Advertisments

A memo on Glug


Grow height to make the womens swoo and catch your head in the clowns.

Squirts will rise in a ceiling of celery.

** If potion is injected through the peanut, peas, construct a magician **


Call 555-7881 for free insult

Public Service Announcement

Talk to your kids about hot dog ankles, before someone else does.

Call 555-4455 for more information.

Meetings

Plumptin High School 2010 Homecoming Dance
Committee meeting

On the agenda:

* Wheelbarrow rides to and from the gym begin at 6:00 p.m. the day of the dance
* Who is going to the dance with Mrs. Vanderells this year so Andrew doesn't have to again?


September 23, 4:00 p.m. in the media center

For sale

Grocery bill

- $31.93 due
- Free grape OR handshake from bag boy Eric with purchase (Eric's choice)
- Located at the Paysoon Grocery, Store #119, register 6


$25
Bill 555-7991

** Please, only serious offers **

Openings

Bunky's Used Video Games
Grand opening!



Fall, 2010 top sellers:

Lawnmower Thief
Jaywalk Olympics '04
Johnny Squirmer: Escape from Under the Sink
Captain Radish vs. Europe
Murray Schneider: Orthodontist


Bunky's - 556 Old Plumptin Avenue, East Plumptin