March 12, 2009

Police report

Carl Clemente
Age: 59
Pants: no

March 11: Mr. Clemente was arrested for refusing to remove his beer helmet and cape in a government building.

Previous arrests

May, 2003: Arrested for providing false information. The accused claimed he was a Puerto Rican rooster named Juan and that the only way to get a stain out of a shirt is with dish washing detergent.

December, 1989: Taken into custody for impersonating an elevator. Mr. Clemente became disorderly after he claimed a female passenger insisted on pushing all of his buttons.

April, 1982: Arrested for possession of more than 12 penguins with intent to sell.


BAIL: $70

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