Two tickets to Celery Stalks On Ice
* Oatmeal pit
* Free wheelbarrow parking pass included
* Good for the March 1 matinee
$45 for the pair
Grant 555-8336
February 29, 2012
February 28, 2012
Home for rent
1/3 BR
0 BATH
1 OUTDOOR BATHTUB
* Rest of roof to be added April, 2012
* Grandpa Ned free with rental agreement
* Must provide own front door
$130/month
Chris & Amanda 555-4477
February 27, 2012
Meetings
Nudley's Laundromat
Staff meeting
On the agenda:
* The customers are not allowed to take home their drier
* We do not have a drive-thru
* The squirrel that ran into washing machine 7 with Mrs. Shelton's whites did not survive the spin cycle
February 29, 12:00 p.m.
Staff meeting
On the agenda:
* The customers are not allowed to take home their drier
* We do not have a drive-thru
* The squirrel that ran into washing machine 7 with Mrs. Shelton's whites did not survive the spin cycle
February 29, 12:00 p.m.
February 26, 2012
February 25, 2012
Announcements
The 1st annual Lettuce Toss has been scheduled for March 17!
* BYOL
* Part of the documentary Lettuce
For more information: email derwoodmorris@gmail.com
* BYOL
* Part of the documentary Lettuce
For more information: email derwoodmorris@gmail.com
For sale
Shards of glass
* Over 30 available
* Free pieces of glass to anyone who is willing to pick them out of an arm
Call for pricing list
Gwen 555-7665
* Over 30 available
* Free pieces of glass to anyone who is willing to pick them out of an arm
Call for pricing list
Gwen 555-7665
February 24, 2012
Personal Ads
MEN SEEKING WOMEN
Voted "best car" in high school yearbook (June, 1997).
Rick box 44691
Let's make a Me sandwich. You bring a girlfriend or two, I'll bring the giant hoagie roll.
Darryl box 71792
I'm stuck in the drier again.
Need a woman to get me out and then head back in there with me and help find my lucky socks.
* Will provide shovel if needed *
Bruce box 88112
WOMEN SEEKING MEN
Have had a lot of relationships end in Sudd's Car Wash parking lots.
Looking for a man who doesn't work at Sudd's Car Wash.
Sandra box 73219
SBF, age 42. I'm told I chew in my sleep, but nothing has ever been proven.
Nadine box 20003
I have my ex-boyfriend's name tattooed on my chest. His name is Eric.
Looking for a man named Eric or Derick.
Tina box 62727
OTHER
Single, clear ice cube. Melting.
Gus box 76609
Voted "best car" in high school yearbook (June, 1997).
Rick box 44691
Let's make a Me sandwich. You bring a girlfriend or two, I'll bring the giant hoagie roll.
Darryl box 71792
I'm stuck in the drier again.
Need a woman to get me out and then head back in there with me and help find my lucky socks.
* Will provide shovel if needed *
Bruce box 88112
WOMEN SEEKING MEN
Have had a lot of relationships end in Sudd's Car Wash parking lots.
Looking for a man who doesn't work at Sudd's Car Wash.
Sandra box 73219
SBF, age 42. I'm told I chew in my sleep, but nothing has ever been proven.
Nadine box 20003
I have my ex-boyfriend's name tattooed on my chest. His name is Eric.
Looking for a man named Eric or Derick.
Tina box 62727
OTHER
Single, clear ice cube. Melting.
Gus box 76609
February 23, 2012
February 22, 2012
Meetings
Forehead
Band meeting
On the agenda:
* Nothing rhymes with "zucchini"
* Please put on your guitar strap/guitar after your shirt
* We have too many songs about engine coolant
February 24, 2:00 p.m.
Band meeting
On the agenda:
* Nothing rhymes with "zucchini"
* Please put on your guitar strap/guitar after your shirt
* We have too many songs about engine coolant
February 24, 2:00 p.m.
February 21, 2012
For rent
Comb
* Near-mint condition
* Used in the filming of the hit reality TV show Lice!
* Perfect for comb fights
$3/half hour
Betty 555-6001
* Near-mint condition
* Used in the filming of the hit reality TV show Lice!
* Perfect for comb fights
$3/half hour
Betty 555-6001
February 20, 2012
For sale
Money clearance sale
* Plenty of $1 bills
* Just in: $10 bill
* Also available: dimes
Call for pricing list
Chip 555-1342
* Plenty of $1 bills
* Just in: $10 bill
* Also available: dimes
Call for pricing list
Chip 555-1342
February 19, 2012
For sale
VHS movies
Catch A Sinus Infection If You Can
Dances With Extension Cords
Honey, I Glued Egg Shells To The Kids
$4 each
Greg 555-6637
Catch A Sinus Infection If You Can
Dances With Extension Cords
Honey, I Glued Egg Shells To The Kids
$4 each
Greg 555-6637
February 18, 2012
Public Service Announcement
Talk to your pickles about leaving the jar before some other vegetable does.
Call 555-0017 to learn more
February 17, 2012
Services
Advice lady for hire
* Don't pressure wash your driveway with nacho cheese
* Goldfish don't eat raisins
* You can't take a ice cube shooter to a gun fight
* There's no reason to give names to each individual tissue in the box
* A carpet sample is not a pet
* Don't pressure wash your driveway with nacho cheese
* Goldfish don't eat raisins
* You can't take a ice cube shooter to a gun fight
* There's no reason to give names to each individual tissue in the box
* A carpet sample is not a pet
* Don't put onions in your chocolate milk
* I swallowed several pen caps: what do I do now?
Call for rates and availability
Sandra 555-1886
* I swallowed several pen caps: what do I do now?
Call for rates and availability
Sandra 555-1886
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