For hire

Wood graffiti carver for hire

Call for rates and availability
Claire  555-9822


"I'll carve my name into anything."

- Claire, 9/28/13

Public Service Announcement

For rent

Crab leg

* Used in the filming of the reality TV show Who Won't Get Bit By A Jellyfish?!
* Comes with some free sand


$7/half hour
Randal  555-4009

For sale

Reality TV on DVD

* Who Wants To Throw Slices of Cheese at a Millionaire? - Season 3
* Bus Boys: Detroit
* Worm Shop - Final season
* How Much Change is in Harold's Couch?! - Reunion special
* Grandpa Swap - Season 2 (w/deleted scenes)


$5 each
Raqwon  555-3966

Meetings

Plumptin Times
Editorial meeting


On the agenda:

* No matter how many times they send us press releases and photographs, Dodgecantaloupe is not a sport
* The religion section will not be replaced by a daily pictorial tribute to the hoagie roll
* Our new Smelliest Kid Of The Week page: Q&A


October 31, 1:00 p.m.

Announcements

I've heard, through reliable sources, that my neighbors Roger & Maureen Gafreda (431 Lavrondo Blvd., West Kaynesport) won't be giving out any Halloween candy this year.

That gives you a perfect opportunity to come to my house for all your Halloween needs.

* Guaranteed answer on first ring/knock
* Each trick-or-treater gets one free grab into The Box of Mystery & Mostly Applesauce
* Pre-Christmas sit on Santa's lap (minimum 10 seconds) available to first 25 kids to come to the door


Greg McAllister
433 Lavrondo Blvd.

Services

Need car doors opened?


Joe Maglio  555-9995

Meetings

Sid's Seafood Palace
Staff meeting

Items to discuss:

* Please stop accepting sea shells with dollar amounts written on them as currency
* Meet your new assistant manager in charge of cod, Linda
* Making the customers get their own water from the hose behind the restaurant was not on the training video


Saturday morning, 11:00 a.m.

For sale

Peanut shells

$.75 each or all nine for $5
Renee  555-7448

Help wanted

I need help paying a parking ticket.

* $75 owed
* I'm at the corner of Durly Lane & 9th Street in Kaynesport, standing next to a red car with some french fries underneath the right front tire. I'll be wearing brown pants and a blue t-shirt with DOUG LIFE written in white on the front.


Doug  555-8815

Public Service Announcement

Don't let this happen to your bread.

Call P.E.T.W.B. (People for the Ethical Treatment of White Bread) at 555-3928 for more information.

Services

Need your pool cleaned?

Had enough of Joe Maglio coming over, cleaning for a few minutes, then either taking a swim and falling asleep in a lawn chair and/or eating all of the leaves in the pool?

You have other options.


Annette Maglio  555-8003

Meetings

Friends of Bart Carver
October meeting

On the agenda:

* For our November field trip to the water fountain by Bart's elementary school classroom, we still need deposits from Keisha, Darnell & Becky
* July 18, 2010: the day we had a surprise birthday at the office of Burt Carter
* Bart doesn't like meat loaf anymore


October 26, 6:30 p.m. at Janet's condo

For sale

I'm looking to find a good home for one of my napkins.

It's the last napkin of a package of 50 and I just haven't found a good use for him. He could use a fresh start.

Please: only looking for responses from solid families who wipe up their spills, however large, with napkins. Paper towel families need not apply.


Give me a call and we can discuss price
Jasper  555-8713