For rent

Leaf crown

$15/hour
Dwayne  555-6115

Help wanted

A fly got into my apartment recently and I need help getting it out.

[Last known photo. Taken Monday afternoon]



Patrice  555-0113

Public Service Announcement

For sale

Reality TV shows on DVD

* My Head Hurts! - final season
* Countdown To 8:30 p.m.: Seattle
* Watch Me Eat Pistachios - season 1 w/deleted scenes


$4 each
Dante  555-0788

For sale

Used car

* 210,000 miles, red
* Missing front passenger side seat, some of the roof
* About 1/2 of a sausage calzone somewhere in the back free with purchase
* Used in the filming of the 1996 documentary When Harry Rented When Harry Met Sally


$275 or best offer
Harry  555-3244

Services

Need sunglasses looked out of?


Joe Maglio  555-9995

Public Service Announcement

Support interracial umbrella relationships

November 12, vote "NO" on proposition 519


Other prop bills:

38: Ban the use of string instruments while showering
117: Legality of hair conditioner on bratwurst
56: Separate but equal: rain drops

Disconnections

We were both at the bank Tuesday morning and I was trying to see how many deposit slips I could fit in my mouth.

We made eye contact twice.

What color pen exploded and went all over my shirt?


Jacqueline  555-2281

For hire

Painters for hire

* Over 30 years of experience
* Must provide brushes, some paint


Pete's Paints
555-8872

Meetings

Clock Watcher's Society - Plumptin chapter
November meeting


On the agenda:

* Vacation schedule for Friday, November 8:

- Andrea 8:00 a.m. - 9:30 a.m.
- Bruce 1:00 p.m. - 2:00 p.m.
- D'Andre 2:35 p.m. - 3:00 p.m.

* When is it going to be 6:15?


Tomorrow at 11:00 a.m. at headquarters

Services

Need your grass cut?

Tired of the same, old lawnmowers?

Hire us, and we'll come and eat all of your grass.


Call for rates and availability
Vince & Son  555-6645


* Now also chewing up old driveway gravel *

Public Service Announcement

Help wanted

I'm looking for someone who can teach my pet lizard sign language.

I've had him for three years and I don't think he's ever going to be able to speak. Willing to spend up to $15/hour for your services.

Please, serious offers only.


Trent  555-0114

Services

Professional pointer for hire

"Give me something to point at."

* Over 15 years experience
* Once pointed at a corn crop for seven minutes, 40 seconds, (national record)
* Appeared as an extra on the infomercial Pointing Out Of Windows With Wendy


Call for prices and availability
Olivia  555-4778

** Coming winter, 2013: pointing at falling snow **